Bleach: Blade Crasher arc
by HeavenDemon29
Summary: Ichigo has to go to the Soul Society for some paperwork, but someone me decides to start something extreme! Rated for eventual kombat, blood, gore, and moderate cursing. Will have romantic plot later in story.
1. Episode 1: Paperwork, People, and Pain

Bleach: Blade Crasher arc

Episode 1: Paperwork, People, and Pain

**WAZAAAAAAAAAAAP? This story replaces the Thousand Year Blood War Arc, cuz no one wants Byakuya to die, or even that Chojiro guy. DISCLAIMEEEEEEEER!**

**Rukia Kuchiki: The human owns nothing. I own my zanpakuto, and so does everyone else.**

**ONWAAAAAAAAAARD!**

A young man, about the age of sixteen, walked throughout the Soul Society, his orange, yes I said orange, hair floated in the wind. This was Ichigo Kurosaki, who isn't exactly your average teenage boy. He was, in fact, half human. His father, Isshin Kurosaki, was a Soul Reaper. Those are the people that take souls to the other side, where Ichigo is now. He's not dead, well, not entirely. It's confusing, but you forget it sooner or later. He was currently going to complete some paperwork that the Captain of the Twelfth Division, Mayuri Kurotsuchi, needed him to fill out, as well as run some 'tests'. For some reason, he didn't like the way that came out. Mostly because his Quincy friend, Uryu Ishida, told him that Mayuri was a nutcase that needed to be put in the biggest hole under the largest rock in the darkest corner of Hell. But Ichigo really couldn't say no, otherwise the Head Captain, Genryusai Yamamoto, would have his head for 'disobeying the orders of a superior officer'. Still, Ichigo KNEW that Mayuri would probably knock him out and dissect him because of his powers. Wait, let's take a few steps back, shall we?

About a year and a half ago, Ichigo met Rukia Kuchiki, a Soul Reaper who gave him her powers to kill a Hollow, a human soul that's succumbed to despair and started eating other souls. A little while later, Rukia's brother, Byakuya Kuchiki, took her back to Soul Society because giving her powers to a human was against the law. Ichigo and his friends went into the Soul Society, and saved her. From there, it turned out everything was being manipulated by Sosuke Aizen, a first class wing nut who thought he could rule the world just because he had a god complex. He took a special device hidden inside Rukia, the Hogyoku, and went to the land of Hollows. From there, he turned Hollows into Arrancar, which are a whole lot stronger, and faster. Not all were smarter, though. Anyways, he then had one of his Arrancar, Ulquiorra Cifer; take Ichigo's friend, Orihime Inoue, to the land of Hollows, Hueco Mundo. He wanted to use her powers over Fate to replenish the Hogyoku's power. Ichigo and his friends went after her, and killed a lot of Arrancar. They escaped, and as it turned out, Aizen's plan was to destroy Ichigo's home of Karakura Town in order to make the Royal Key, and kill the Soul King, becoming ruler of all. Obviously, it failed. Aizen even put the Hogyoku into his own body, but Ichigo trained in the Dangai, for three months straight in an instant. He emerged, and pretty much whooped Aizen's ass. Then, in a selfless final act, he sacrificed all of the power that he had gained in order to kill Aizen. Then, flash forward to about three weeks ago. Ichigo was living a 'normal' life, normally kicking people in the face if they bully others and all that. Then he was approached by the Fullbringers, who wanted Ichigo to use that same power they have in order to become a Soul Reaper again. He did so, and as it turned out, MORE conspiracy. Their leader, Kugo Ginjo, wanted to get his revenge on the Soul Society for removing HIS powers, since he was the FIRST Substitute Soul Reaper, and not Ichigo. He attempted to kill Ichigo, but then some of Ichigo's friends in the Soul Society appeared, and used a special weapon to give Ichigo his powers as a Soul Reaper back. It worked, and he absorbed his Fullbring powers with his Soul Reaper powers. He killed Ginjo, and we go back to now, with Ichigo going to the Twelfth Division, which is also the Research and Development Division.

Ichigo reached the gates of the division, and he walked in, and tapped on the desk up front, "Uhm… Hello? I'm-""OH! Kurosaki! One moment please!" the secretary at the desk said, and then pressed a button on the desk, "Captain Kurotsuchi-""YES! WHAT IS IT! I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A BREAKTHORUGH HERE AND YOU-""Ichigo Kurosaki's here to see you, Captain.""Oh, yes. Send him." Ichigo, ears still bleeding from the yelling, just follows the direction that the woman pointed towards. He walks for a while, following the various arrows on the ground, still trying to get rid of the ringing in his ears. When he got to the end of the arrow, he found a door, and knocked. Before he could knock the second time, a man who looked like a clown with his white makeup practically ripped the door off of its hinges, and said, "Hello, there, Kurosaki. Please, just sit down over there. I'll have Nemu get the paperwork." Then he yells, VERY loud, "NEMU! GET RIGHT OVER HERE NOW! KUROSAKI'S HERE AND I NEED THAT PAPERWORK!" Then a young, small, and quite frankly, emotionless woman walks in, carrying a small stack of paperwork, "Here you are, Master Mayuri." She then drops the papers in front of Ichigo, and then walks off to do other stuff. Ichigo shudders, '_She reminds me of Ulquiorra, never smiling or having emotion at ALL!_' And then he sees how big the paperwork is up close, "YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ALL OF THIS?" Then Mayuri gives off one of his sadistic grins, and then pokes a small tab, and pulls, removing the upper half of the paperwork, leaving a smaller amount of paperwork, '_I'm no nerd like Uryu, but I can handle this._' Then he starts to answer the questions, with some being simple, like, "Have you obtained your Shikai? If so, what is its name?" Simple, Zangetsu's the name. "You called, Ichigo?" Ichigo jumped at the sudden voice inside of his head. See, all Soul Reapers have a zanpakuto, or Soul Slaying Sword, that has its own name and personality. Ichigo's was Zangetsu, and he looked like a 40-year old man. Ichigo then just replied, '_No, Zangetsu. You can go back to looking at the clouds in my… sideways skyscraper filled head._' Then he wondered, the world within his mind was sideways, "What does that mean about me?" "What does what mean about you?" Then Ichigo jumped at Mayuri's response, "AH! Nothing, just talking to myself here… Heheheheheh…" Then he looked back to the paperwork, and continued. When he was done, he set his pen down, stood up, and walked to the door. Just when he THOUGHT he was home free, Mayuri grabs him by the collar, "And where do you think YOU'RE GOING? We still have some tests to run." Then he chucked Ichigo (He might be the Soul Reaper incarnation of Dr. Frankenstein, but he's still a captain) towards a glass case, and then said into an intercom, "I want you to release your spiritual pressure into that casing, and PLEASE, don't break it. It was very hard to build. I would like to test with it again later." Then Ichigo shrugged, and then took a steady stance, while a blue aura began to flow from his body. He pulled Zangetsu from his back, and the Twelfth Division Captain truly saw the weapon in detail. It was wrapped in a piece of cloth, and when he pulled it off of his back, the cloth shortened into a chain. The weapon itself was an oversized meat cleaver, Mayuri knows enough about THOSE, and it looked similar to a human trench knife, with a curve at the tip, and an indent at the base of the blade. Ichigo roared, and the spirit pressure came in at a steady pace, showing less-than-normal signs. This is probably from the Fullbring he described in the paperwork. Mayuri grinned from ear to weaponized ear. The results were EVEN BETTER than expected. Now, all he needs to do is pop open the boy and fins out what's under his hood-

Before Mayuri's thoughts of dissection could go any further, the case blasted open, and the glass was everywhere. Mayuri jumped back, and was cursing the young man out worse than what the ELEVENTH could dish out. And they're the barbarians. Ouch. Anyways, Ichigo took that as a sign he should leave, and used his shunpo, or flash step, to get OUT OF THERE! When he was out of the building, he breathed a sigh of relief, and decided to go over to Rukia's place Correction, her MANSION. When he got there, he realized that either Byakuya had gotten richer, or he had gotten smaller, because it was HUGE! Then he heard Zangetsu say, "Ichigo, something doesn't seem right about this place. I sense an almost Hollow-like spirit pressure. We'd best check it out." Then he saw Zangetsu materialize before him. Since the incident with Muramasa seventeen months ago, who had the ability to materialize zanpakuto, Zangetsu had decided NOT to materialize as much, and kept the power, even past his 'hibernation period'. Zangetsu then held out his hand, and his blade form materialized in his hand. It's weird, seeing Zangetsu wile he's HOLDING Zangetsu. He's holding himself, heh heh heh. Then he and Ichigo walk slowly, both of them with Zangetsu drawn. Ichigo noticed the Hollow spirit pressure was closing in on them. He and Zangetsu raised their weapons, and before they could swing, "Ichigo! Whatcha doing?" Then he looked, and he saw Rukia sitting there, smiling. He then put Zangetsu on his back, and said, "Just thought I'd pay you a visit. You haven't paid me any lately." He purposefully worded it JUST like that, wanting Rukia to understand that the whole thing about her not visiting him recently really hurt him. Then Zangetsu just sat there, remembering how Ichigo's loss of power made his inner world go dark, and how it sprinkled occasionally whenever Ichigo would remember his Soul Reaper friends. If Zangetsu could destroy any one thing in the world, and make it so that the world could live without it, it would be rain. God, he HATED IT! And he hated it when it rained in Ichigo's mind EVEN MORE. Because then his symbiote was in deep pain, and since Zangetsu wasn't exactly the best pep talker, he knew that he couldn't help Ichigo with his problems. That was what hurt Zangetsu the most, not being able to help the one he considered a brother, son, and father rolled into one. Then he shook his head, and then got an idea. Why should HE be the only one to have this newfound freedom? If the zanpakuto could have it before, why not now? Then he went to the Twelfth Division via shunpo as fast as possible, knowing that every second counted.

"Hey, where's Zangetsu?" That statement puzzled the small and horrible artist. She said, "Uhm… your back?" Ichigo looked, and then understood what she meant, "No, no, no. I mean that, ever since the Muramasa incident, Zangetsu didn't appear as much, and even now, he still has the strength to materialize. I think he's in my mind, doing… whatever he does." Then he shrugged, and then at that time, his Soul Reaper stomach decided to sound off.

When Zangetsu arrived at the outer perimeter of the Twelfth Division, he heard a large groan in the direction that he had just ran from. He looked back, and when he sensed no Hollow presence, assumed it was the Second Division's Lieutenant's stomach going off. He's only half right.

Ichigo grasped the part of him that was as loud as a Menos Grande Gillian. And THAT'S saying something. Then he asked, "Uh… Can I get something to eat?" Rukia only laughed at her friend's statement, and then she turned around, and said, "Oh, fine. Just try not to break anything. Brother's working right now, and I got the day off because I over timed yesterday." Ichigo winced at the very idea of overtime. And now his FRIEND was doing it? He swallowed the news as best he could, and followed, staying in the middle of the hallway, unaware of the Hollow presence that surrounded him.

"And who are YOU supposed to be, exactly?" The already-aggravated Captain questioned the cloaked man standing before him, "I am Zangetsu. I have a request for you." Upon hearing the name, Mayuri nearly fainted, "Alright, you have my full attention." The zanpakuto standing before him kept a mask of silence, and then began to unfurl his idea, "After the Muramasa incident from a year and a half ago, I decided not to materialize as much as other zanpakuto did. There was a reason for that, but still… Because I did not materialize as much, I kept that power dormant, even past Ichigo using up his powers and becoming human again. My request is simple: I want you to find the traces of Muramasa's powers within me, and broadcast it all over the Soul Society, allowing zanpakuto to manifest themselves everywhere." Mayuri grinned a deathly grin, and said, "Well then, let's get started, shall we?" Zangetsu stayed silent, and Mayuri began to attach various machines to him.

**Several hours later…**

"We have arrived as you requested, Captain Kurotsuchi. Now, what IS this gift you have for us all?" Mayuri grinned, knowing that his name would go down in history for this, "What I am about to unfold before you, ladies and gentlemen, is something that will bring a grave amount of power to the Soul Society. I give you… The Muramasa Projector!" Then he ripped the cover off, revealing a large machine that had a cloaked man inside of a bubble on it, "WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ZANGETSU?" Ichigo shunpo'd towards Mayuri, and grabbed him by the collar, "What's going on here?" Mayuri grinned and said, "Boy, he gave me the idea." Ichigo's stupefied look didn't exactly do him justice, "This machine will copy the bits of spirit pressure from Muramasa that are within your precious Zangetsu, and they will be broadcast ALL OVER the Soul Society, therefore allowing zanpakuto to materialize! It's brilliant I tell you, genius I say!" Then he said, "Nemu, PULL… THE SWITCH!" Nemu obeyed, saying, "Yes, master." The machine sparked, with Zangetsu generating a steady stream of spirit pressure, allowing for the Muramasa particles to reveal themselves. The machine greedily grabbed at them, and then sent multiple large shockwaves that rocked the entire Soul Society, with Soul Reaper's zanpakuto all over shaking like… uhm… I don't really know…

Zangetsu then sent a twist to his spirit pressure, giving a message to all of the zanpakuto, "Here my voice. I am Zangetsu, and I use my powers to grant you the ability to walk amongst your Soul Reaper masters. Go now, and truly confront them, and guide them better than you could from within their minds. See the world from your own eyes, and not from theirs. Smell the flowers, feel the wind, hear the birds. Train them, and make them stronger. This marks a new age, my fellow zanpakuto, and an age where we shall forever be able to fight the Hollow menace along our masters. An age where zanpakuto shall ceased to be weapons, and remind our masters that we are sentient creatures as well. Now go, and live your own lives." That last line being said, he sent a wave of spirit pressure, and that wave finalized the broadcast. He then opened up the pod, walked out, disappeared into Ichigo's mind, and sat back on his old man emo pole. Ichigo looked around as various zanpakuto from the old days reappeared, celebrating their newfound freedom. Some of them got to the drinks, and Ichigo sighed, this was going to be a long day.

**There we go! If you like this, I'll do more. If you don't, too bad! I'll do it, anyways! Ciao!**


	2. Episode 2: the Infiltrator

Bleach: Blade Crasher arc

Episode 2: The Infiltrator

**WAZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP? Let's get it on! Disclaimeeeeeer!**

**Zangetsu: Tite Kubo owns us, not HeavenDemon29. That is all.**

**ONWAAAAAAARD!**

Ichigo was taking a walk through the Seireitei, and he heard a strange noise, a gnashing noise, that didn't sound good at all. He ran to the location, sensing no spirit pressure, for some reason. He turned into the alleyway where he heard the noise, and sat there, shocked. There was… _something_ hunched over a body, eating it. He pulled out Zangetsu, and said, "HEY! What're you doing!?" Then the creature turned, and the sight made Ichigo nearly puke. It was a Hollow, yet its mask was torn up, and where the mask wasn't present, there was no human face. Just torn flesh underneath and there was also some bone. But the worst was its eye. The eye wasn't a Hollow eye, but a regular eye. It was hanging by only a few strings of muscle, and it stared at him, just practically screaming, '_kill me, please._' Ichigo began to shake, violently. He breathed in deep, and then shunpo'd right in front of the creature, stabbing into its Hollow hole, right where all Hollow's hearts were, but were now just masks on their faces. When he stabbed, he felt Zangetsu hit steel, and then he felt the spirit pressure. The monster's spirit pressure was being hidden behind the machine on its Hollow hole, hence as to why nobody in the Soul Society found it. The monster had an enormous level of spirit pressure, and the body was severely dropping in said category. Ichigo jumped back, and did the only sensible thing against a Hollow this strong, "BAN-""No, Ichigo. Do not use Bankai." Ichigo stopped at the fact his zanpakuto said _no_ to him, "Why?" He looked at the flat of the sword, looking directly at a reflection of Zangetsu in it, "Ichigo, something about its spirit pressure… _scares me_." Ichigo jumped over its claws, and then dropped Zangetsu on its ugly, ripped open head. When he did, he saw the flesh _altering itself_, growing long, bloody tendrils that grabbed at Zangetsu, "Ichigo, DO NOT use Bankai. This creature, I feel weaker because of its spirit pressure. Stick to dodging it. Lure it to someone skilled in Kido. I can't help you here." Ichigo nodded, and ripped Zangetsu from the tendrils. He picked up the body, and sensed zanpakuto spirit pressure on it, '_Why'd it go after a zanpakuto?_" Then he started to shunpo towards the Second Division, which was closest to his current location. When he jumped over the fence, he saw Second Division ninjas doing… what ninjas do. He saw nothing, and knew they were set for an ambush. He yelled, "HELP! SOMEBODY! THIS GUY NEEDS A MEDIC, STAT!" Then, when he hit the middle of the Second Division training court, he turned, and saw the Hollow, drooling, and hungry for more flesh. Ichigo glared, and gave a kick of his heel, letting the ninjas nearby know that they were good to go.

Soi-Fong had been training her Stealth Force soldiers for several minutes, and when they sensed Ichigo, along with a weak spirit pressure, followed by what appeared to be a hungry Hollow, they got into ninja attack formation. GO NINJAS! Anyways, when she saw Ichigo Kurosaki kick his heel, she made the first attack, throwing her anken, or hidden knives, at the Hollow's head. She then gave a motion for more Stealth Force to surround the creature. When they did, the overweight Lieutenant of the Second Division, Marechiyo Omaeda, who had his zanpakuto, Gegetsuburi, sitting next to him, both with smug looks on their faces. Omaeda just said, in his loud and obnoxious voice, "Let's catch this thing alive. I think Mayuri will know what to do with it." Then Stealth Force members began to throw specialized nets that were suited for live capture, with the disfigured Hollow ripping through each one. Omaeda said, "Oh, so that's how ya wanna play? Fine by me. CRUSH THEM ALL-"Then his zanpakuto stopped him from using Shikai, "Dude, don't do it. I mean it. Somehow, I think it WANTS you to use us zanpakuto on it." Omaeda bore a look of disappointment, and then declared a new order, "ALRIGHT, MEN! I don't want ya to use yer zanpakuto on it, even if ya don't have Shikai! Just stick to Kido and other weapons. NOW GET ME THAT HOLLOW!" The ninja, because they're grunts, all got their asses kicked, with Soi-Fong slapping herself in the face, "And I JUST did a lesson on taking down larger enemies." She then turns, with her small, bee-sized zanpakuto, Suzumebachi, mounted on her shoulder. She looked at the Hollow, and asked it, sarcastically, "So, know any good plastic surgeons?" Then she dashed forward, muttering Kido incantations. She finished, and held up her hand, perfectly hitting the Hollow with the Kido spell, "Bakudo 30, Shitotsu Sansen!" She makes a triangle with her finger, and on each of the points, a spear points out. The triangle hits the Hollow, and pins it to a wall. She looks to her fallen soldiers, and says, "Men, you have disappointed me. I JUST did a lesson pointing out what to do if the enemy is larger, and stronger than you. And you completely failed the field test, which came RIGHT AFTER the training. Expect to be dropped like a rock when you get out of the Fourth. I want all of you who are conscious to inform your peers that when they wake up again." She turns, and says to her Lieutenant, "Omaeda, I want you to get me the Fourth, and the Eleventh. We're going to need a LOT of muscle if we want to get this big guy to the Twelfth. If this thing could infiltrate the Seireitei, we also might want the Kido Corps right behind, too." Then she looks at the Substitute Soul Reaper, and says bluntly, "Hand over the wounded zanpakuto. I'm faster, and I can get him attention faster." Then Ichigo complies, and he walks over to the Hollow, and asks, "What are you?"

"That, my little test subject to be, is what we're all asking." Ichigo turns, and is greeted by the Joker-turned-Soul-Reaper, aka Mayuri Kurotsuchi, and several other Twelfth Division members. They walk over to the creature, and began taking notes and examining the Hollow. Then one of them takes the machine that Ichigo broke, lodged inside the Hollow's chest, and pulls it out, "Captain Kurotsuchi, I found something." Then Ichigo looks at the device, and says, "Yeah, I stabbed that little doohickey there, and all of a sudden, I sensed the Hollow's spirit pressure. Zangetsu said it… _scared him._" When he said that, every zanpakuto in the area agreed, with Mayuri's zanpakuto, Ashisogi Jizo, hiding its butterfly-like body behind its master, "Oh, get out from there, you coward." Ashisogi Jizo yelped when its master grabbed it, and threw it to the side. Then it started to fly behind another Twelfth Division member who was studying the machine, "Kurosaki, you said that this concealed the Hollow's spirit pressure?" Ichigo looked and said, "Yeah. That's what happened." Mayuri and his lackey began to scratch their chins in unison, and then they realize what they're doing, and the lackey stops, allowing his captain, who put a bomb in him in his sleep, to continue pondering. Then Rukia and her captain, Jushiro Ukitake, shunpo in on the scene, along with several others. Cue Eleventh Division complaining about no fighting. Kenpachi Zaraki, the VERY tall captain of the barbarian division, says to the Clown Prince of Maniacal Science, "Hey, when yer done with this thing, can I fight it?" Mayuri grins and says, "That's a great idea for a test of its combat ability. Maybe you're not so dumb after all." Kenpachi grins and says, "Hey, Ichigo! When're we gonna have the fight?" Ichigo looks at the Captain, and says, "Not now, Kenpachi. Let's just find out what the hell this thing is, and maybe why zanpakuto are scared stiff because of it." Kenpachi walks away, grumbling and complaining, with the Eleventh Division following closely behind. Ichigo just rolled his eyes, and they hit Rukia's. He looked to the giver of his powers, and she asked, "Ichigo, just what happened here?" He looked around, and when he saw that her and her Captain's zanpakuto were both VERY scared of the Hollow as well, he answered with this, "Let's wait. I only want to have to tell the story once."

**Later, while in front of all of the Captains and Lieutenants…**

Ichigo explained everything that he saw when he confronted the Hollow that all zanpakuto feared, "And that's that." They talked to themselves, and then Yamamoto spoke up, "Ichigo Kurosaki, we hope you don't mind us having our doubts about your story. Until the Stealth Force can obtain any further information regarding the event, we have no choice but to increase security. Meaning, you will have to stay within the Seireitei until we get this whole mess sorted out." Ichigo jumped up at the idea, "WHY'D YA WANNA DO THAT, OLD MAN?" The other captains winced at the title that Yamamoto was given, but he continues on, "First off, learn some manners. Second off, if this creature DOES have the ability to restrain zanpakuto, we have no choice but to make sure all Soul Reapers are to be kept safe, and that until we find out any more, we cannot risk engaging one in combat again. The zanpakuto you found claimed that he wasn't able to use his abilities while that Hollow attacked him. Imagine what would happen if there are more than one of those. Imagine what would happen if they infiltrated Soul Society. Imagine what would happen if my own Ryujin Jakka were to become weakened. We CANNOT," When he said that, he slammed his cane into the floor, "risk one of our most powerful units to be left in the Human World, where Hollows are FAR more frequent." Then Mayuri decided to step in, "If I may, Head Captain, I would like to say that the Hollow we are examining has forced all of the Twelfth Division's zanpakuto to clear out. Would any of you other Divisions mind us using a few extra bunks up?" Kenpachi spoke up, "Sure, since we've got such a big Division, and so few men. Just go ahead and plunk em down with yer next door neighbor." Mayuri gave his 'I'm-gonna-dissect-you-and-rape-you-in-yo-sleep' smiles, "Yes, that would work VERY nicely, Captain Zaraki." Kenny's eyes became as big as his Lieutenant's head, "Wait, I was just joking!" But it was too late, and since every other Division had their own stuff that they were busy with, so the Eleventh seemed like the obvious choice. Ichigo just got up and waltzed out of the Division, with his stomach grumbling and moaning. He was being followed.

Ichigo had plopped himself down on a bench chair, and was eating the small meal he had managed to buy. He felt something strange, like someone was watching him, "BOO!""AUGH!" He turned, jumped, and dropped his food all at once. He looked up and saw Rukia and one of the Third Seats of the Thirteenth, Kiyone Kotetsu, laughing and pointing at the orange human hybrid. He sat up, and began to glare daggers at his friend and her coworker, "Alright, alright. You got me. Is there something I can do for you?" Then Kiyone and Rukia shot each other rather… peculiar looks, and then stared at Ichigo, "Hey, what's wrong? Is there something on my face?" They kept on staring, while moving forward, "Hello? Anyone home?" Then he knocked on their heads. Ichigo IMMEDIATELY dropped to his knees, clutching his family jewels, with both Lieutenant and Third Seat having their feet bent outward in kick position. Then Rukia said, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? WHO DOES THAT TO PEOPLE?" Ichigo barely stood up, picked up his meal, sat down, and continued to eat.

**In the dark, misery-filled hallways of the Twelfth Division…**

Mayuri was hitting computer keys like Kenpachi would a punching bag. He was going through every file in the Soul Society's database, even the ones that were restricted, and STILL found nothing. He was just about to give up his search when he saw it, a file that contained peculiar Hollow sightings. He quickly checked it, and the information was mostly meaningless. Then he hit the part he was looking for, "Hollows that have busted masks". He saw that many of these, "Mask less Hollows", those that weren't Arrancar had one thing in common: they all had suffered MAJOR facial damage, and they hadn't been encountered before. He grinned, and said, "NOW we're getting somewhere!" He looked over to his new pet project that was nailed into the examination table. It roared in pain as its insides were twisted and turned by Twelfth Division members. Their research had so far come to one thing: that the wounds upon its mask were NOT inflicted by Soul Reaper. Normally, if a Hollow is injured with THESE kinds of wounds, it would have been attacked by others, who normally attack those with that level of wounds. Another problem is that the device didn't have a speck of spirit pressure left on it. Even after the Stealth Force had checked with everything they had, they still found only Hollow spirit pressure latched to the device. Mayuri was beginning to get frustrated. What kind of Hollow could've- wait a minute, there was that ONE Arrancar, he called himself perfect and Mayuri pretty much decimated the little sonofabitch. '_But, what if I didn't kill him? He does have that reincarnation power, after all. Some stupid little Hollow probably ate him, and paid the price with its own life._' Mayuri slams his hand onto the Hollow, of which he'd walked towards while he was pondering. The Hollow spewed a series of growls and moans directed towards the Captain. He ignored it all and continued to examine the Hollow, intending to understand exactly WHY zanpakuto had a natural fear of the creature, and how its face was uglier than his own makeup. And yes, he knows it's ugly. He just doesn't want people to see what he really looks like, for whatever reason. He continues to perform his disgusting deeds to the Hollow's bowels, turning them over, popping them open, and such. Mayuri knows it'll be a while before anything can turn up, and he intends to find out as much as possible before Yamamoto decides that it's to dangerous to exist. The Hollow roars in agony, its shout echoing throughout the night sky of the Seireitei.

**Back to our hero, Ichigo…**

Ichigo was at a loss. He knew that he'd be here a while, but had NO WHERE to go. He wouldn't dare try the Eleventh, because in case Kenpachi wakes up his subordinates in the same method Ichigo's dad wakes HIM up… yeah, not happening. The Second was to strict, the Fourth was a nice choice, since he was used to sleeping in a hospital, since his dad owned a clinic, yet the Captain scared him. The Tenth? He couldn't stand the Lieutenant's flirting. The Fifth? He knew Shinji, the Vizard, or Soul Reaper with Hollow powers, Captain, would try and pull some kind of creepy maneuver to see if Ichigo's Hollow was really gone. Yes, Ichigo was once a Vizard himself. But he, and Zangetsu, didn't dare venture deep into Ichigo's mind, in case the Hollow really is there. He does NOT want to wake it up. He couldn't stand the idea of being in the First, since Yamamoto would be so BORING to deal with. He considered the Thirteenth, since Ukitake was nice, but the Eighth Captain, Shunsui Kyoraku, would always pop in, and would probably make Ichigo drink and do something stupid. The Ninth Division Captain he didn't know well and he wouldn't DARE try the Twelfth. You couldn't do ANYTHING to get him in there. Then, while he was considering going out hobo style, Zangetsu told him, "Ichigo, don't be a dumbass. Ask Byakuya Kuchiki or Renji Abarai if it would be alright to be in their barracks. You're good friends with Renji, and Byakuya wouldn't dare get into an argument with Rukia about it. So go on, because I am NOT going to sleep outside." Ichigo was shocked by Zangetsu's choice of words, and his idea, but it seemed logical, so he did it.

**At the Sixth Division Barracks…**

"Aw, damnit. Who could POSSIBLY be up at THIS hour?" A man in standard Soul Reaper uniform, with his red hair drooped down to his shoulders, crankily walks to the door, and opens it. This is Renji Abarai, Sixth Division Lieutenant and Ichigo's best Soul Reaper friend. He looks right at Ichigo, and says, "Well, come on in. I ain't waiting all night." He turns around, and walks back to his room, and yells, "There's a spare bunk down the hall, third door to the right. Go to the end of the left, it's around there somewhere." He just walked back to his Lieutenant's bunk and dropped dead asleep the moment he hit the pillow. Ichigo walked to said room, and carefully opened up the lights, trying not to awaken anyone that was asleep. He shunpo'd his way to where a bunk was with no spirit pressure. He crawls in, and then passes into unconsciousness…

**Meanwhile, in Hueco Mundo, the land of Hollows…**

An Arrancar sat on his throne, with multiple Hollow servants wondering what the Master was planning NOW. Then, the Arrancar held out his hand, and motioned for someone to emerge. Then, another Arrancar pulled himself from the shadows, with pink (?) hair and what remained of his Hollow mask was a pair of glasses. Then, the first asked, "Syazel, what is the progress on Project number 1 you sent out?" The second, now identified as Syazel, merely grinned and said, "They have captured him, sir. As we speak, Mayuri Kurotsuchi is currently examining number 1, trying to find out his secrets. Should I detonate him, sir?" The first slams his fist onto the arm rest of his throne, and barks, "NO! They need to know everything they can before we activate number 2." Then Syazel stammers out, "SIR! WHY do you want our enemy to know everything they can about the project? That way, they can combat us better!" Then the first grins, all of his face hidden in shadow, his teeth practically flashlights, "Because, when they find out the origin of Project Blade Crasher, they will come running straight," he then grabs a small Hollow that was flying nearby, delivering a drink to the Master, "into our hands. And then, we turn Soul Society's greatest agent against them. They will all… **die!**" Then he crushes the miniature Hollow, and it dissolves into nothing, "Lord Aizen would be most pleased with this plan, would he not?" He asks Syazel. Syazel jumps back, straightens himself out, and says, "Yes, Lord Aizen would find this plan very well thought-out. But not quite as brilliant as his own, what with his sheer level of intellect. I mean you no offense, Lord King." Then King leans down, giving his face away to the light above. He is a scarred Arrancar, with quite the doozy on his forehead, going diagonally down his head, and ending at his nose, with his Hollow mask fragment appearing to be a gas filter over his mouth, "I understand, Syazel. I might not be as skilled as he is, but I can sure try, can't I?" Then he looks up, and begins to laugh, insert camera rise through the ceiling. The camera rises through the ceiling, and a LOT of floors, before going through the roof, and hitting a large desert, with the sun beating down on it. Then, the camera continues to go up, and through the fake sky. It shows a long, gray desert, with the moon shining, the only light in the sky. Hollows then release their terrible shrieks as they feel the spirit pressure of King rock the entire foundation of Hueco Mundo.

**Well, there ya go, lads and lasses! I hope you enjoyed, and in case you were wondering what this King guy sounds like, he sounds like Bane from the Dark Knight Rises. Ever since I saw that, I knew I'd need to make a guy who sounded like that. Ciao!**


	3. Episode 3: The Discovery

Bleach: Blade Crasher arc

Episode 3: The Discovery

**Here it is! The much-awaited part 3 of Blade Crasher! DISCLAIMEEEEEER!**

**Byakuya: *stays quiet***

**Ummmm… ONWAAAAAAAAARD!**

"ROOM! ATTENTION!" That was what tore Ichigo from his mental training session. He looked up, and saw all of the Sixth Division members standing perfectly at attention, in front of their beds. He quickly tried to get up, but was tangled in the sheets. He saw Byakuya, the Captain of the Sixth Division, and brother-in-law of Rukia, walk right by him. Byakuya stopped, took three steps back, and looked at Ichigo. He looked at Renji, and said, "Lieutenant Abarai, why is Ichigo Kurosaki in our barracks?" Renji responds instantly, "Sir! I let him in last night, thinking he would need a place to spend the night, SIR!" Byakuya sat there, looked back to Ichigo, and back to his Lieutenant, "Carry on." Renji continued to look over everyone else as they sat there, not moving at all. Ichigo tried to pull himself out, and stood up, with the bed nearly being torn through. Renji just said, "You're a guest here, Ichigo. You don't need to mind morning inspection." Ichigo just shrugged, and began to make his bed so nobody else would have to. '_Well, this is better than how Dad wakes me up._' He shuddered at his father's many 'brilliant' ideas, and the ones he HADN'T come up with.

Ichigo followed some Sixth Division soldiers to the mess hall, and stopped himself. They weren't sitting down. He stood there with them, and waited as they did. When everyone else had taken a spot at one table or another, Renji announced, "Take seats!" They all did, and began to eat. They ate rather quickly, but cleanly. Ichigo tried to make sure he didn't look like some trash off the street, and ate a little too fast. He began to choke, and then felt a powerful smack on his backside. He coughed up the piece of bacon he was eating, and turned around, "Thanks-"He saw a small boy in white, meditating in the air, held up by a snake tail, with a woman with green fur around her body, sitting there, smirking at Ichigo. "Whose zanpakuto are you?" Renji walks over, and starts to drag both of them by their ears, "COME ON! We've got training in five minutes!" The moment he said that, all of the men in the Sixth Division stood up, and dumped their trash away. They followed their Lieutenant into the courtyard, with a very confused Ichigo still standing there, "That's Renji's zanpakuto? That's Zabimaru?" Zangetsu appeared right next to him, "It appears so, Ichigo. If you don't mind, I'll be taking a walk." Zangetsu walked off, probably to look at flowers. "If I didn't know better, I'd say Zangetsu's a regular old hippie." He turned, and began to walk in a separate direction, but he felt an EXCRUTIATING pain in his side. He fell down, and felt his own spirit pressure shoot sky-high. The entire mess hall was torn apart because of the sheer power he was emitting. Then, he heard a voice, a voice he feared more than anyone else, even Aizen. This voice was the voice of a power that could ruin everything he had, with his own hands, "Wassup, Ichigo? Ya miss me?"

**Over Rukia's shoulder-POV…**

Rukia was doing more paperwork for Captain Ukitake, when she felt a powerful Hollow around her brother's Division. She quickly ran into her Captain's office, and saw that he had already left. She followed, with her zanpakuto, Sode no Shirayuki, materializing next to her. The pale woman looked to her master, "Lady Rukia, do you think it could be that Mayuri's experiment got loose?" Rukia got a stern look in her eyes, "No, Sode no Shirayuki. It's worse." Her eyes narrowed, and she said one thing before jumping into overdrive, "It's Ichigo." She shunpo'd off, towards the large tower of black-and-red spirit pressure. Sode no Shirayuki remembered when her master was in Hell, and saw that… that _thing_ that Ichigo Kurosaki became when he was consumed with rage because his sister, Yuzu Kurosaki, was dropped into the pit of Sinners, where anyone would instantly be labeled as a Sinner, and could never leave Hell. She too dashed off, knowing that her master needed every inch of assistance that she could get.

When Rukia arrived, the column of spirit pressure had slowed to a halt, and there was… Ichigo Kurosaki, with the Shikai form of Zangetsu in his grasp. He had become a large, lizard man, with two red lines descending from his forehead to his chin upon the mask that was nearly complete there. Behind him stood a snickering Hollow with his mask incomplete, and with flesh appearing as well. He just walked in front of Ichigo, and began to monologue (OH, DEAR GOD, I HATE DOING THIS!), "Heh, heh, heh. Allow me to introduce myself. The name's Project SH. My master ordered me and BC to hide ourselves, and make sure that we were in position for when the little _abomination_ here," He pointed a clawed finger at Ichigo, who snapped his masked jaws as a response, "arrived. You fell for it, idiots. We knew you'd want Ichigo here in a place where you can watch him, but what you didn't know, was that- WAAAAGH!" His head was punched open by the hollowfied Ichigo, who looked at the blood on his claws, and flicked it off. He looked to the Soul Reapers standing before him, yellow eyes glaring all the way, "Well, that was just plain _rude_, you no-good brat." The creature's deformed head grew tendrils that repaired him, and he opened his jaw, spewing more that hit Ichigo's Hollow hole, and Ichigo roared as the mask was but a splinter away from finishing itself. Rukia's eyes were filled with shock, "Wha- Wh- WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HIM?" She rushed up, and sliced the tendrils, leaving the Hollow toungueless, "Oh my goth, how dare you? Thtupid annoying Thoul Reaper!" He lashed his tendrils out again, and they nearly pierced her, save for Ichigo dashing past. Both target and assailant were dumbfounded. Then they realized _who_ it ran to: the one with the strongest spirit pressure present, aka, Kenpachi Zaraki. '_What did that Hollow DO to Ichigo?_" She watched as Kenpachi grinned, taunting his incoming opponent.

**Kenny POV, GO ELEVENTH DIVISION!**

'_BOOYAH! First, Ichigo gets a MASSIVE power up, THEN, he challenges ME!_' He gives a swift uppercut, and Ichigo flies back, grasping his chin, which now was broken. Ichigo roared, and swung Zangetsu at the now-equal sized Captain, roaring and screaming. Kenpachi just blocked it all, and then thrusted forward, driving his sword into Ichigo's stomach, "Is that all? Too bad, I was hoping we could have a little more-""URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" The Hollowfied Substitute Soul Reaper grabbed its opponent, and threw him to the side. It wrenched out the sword within its stomach, and threw that in the other direction. It approached the downed Captain, and aimed its hand. Red spirit pressure began to build up in his palm, '_Aw, come on! Is he even trying? I eat this kind of attack fer breakfast!_' The Cero fired into Kenpachi's face left behind a large plume of smoke, with everyone crossing their fingers. Kenpachi's lips become visible in the smoke, with a dead look plastered upon them. They curl into a grin, as the now-charbroiled eyepatch power restraint hits the cement, "Gotcha," An enormous burst of yellow spirit pressure knocks back the Hollowfied human, and he picks himself up, snarling as Kenpachi laughs, apparently thinking that Kenny's mocking him. The Hollow rushes forward, and swings Zangetsu at Kenpachi's head. It is stopped short by a rusted out and VERY scratched blade. The two shoot a look at the sword wielder, who is a grinning beast of a man, similar to the Soul Reaper before it. "Who do you think you are, getting in my fight?" The other responds, "I'm here to teach you a lesson you needed to learn a long time ago." He pushes Ichigo away, and throws Kenpachi his sword back. He gives a flick of his wrist, and the same blade appears within his own grasp. Kenpachi is left in awe at what this means, and then looks at his zanpakuto, "So, you're _him_, huh? In that case…" He then rushes AT his zanpakuto, and begins to attack him. He repeatedly strikes, and yells, "IF YOU REALLY ARE MY ZANPAKUTO, THEN YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SURVIVE THIS FIGHT!" He doesn't have enough time to continue, an Ichigo again intervenes, striking at both of them, indiscriminately. He swings Zangetsu, and unleashes the zanpakuto's sole technique, the Getsuga Tensho. The two dodge the incoming blast, but Kenpachi's zanpakuto is knocked back via Cero surprise attack. Kenpachi pays no mind, and launches a roaring wave of spirit pressure, and it launches Ichigo into the air. Kenpachi lashes out at his zanpakuto again, with the zanpakuto guarding against his master's strikes. Then, Kenpachi momentarily bears a look of shock- the sword form of his zanpakuto was becoming _sharper_. It cut cleaner, and it left a much greater blow against his zanpakuto. His nameless zanpakuto used the opening, and kicked his master towards Ichigo, who knocked Kenpachi to the ground. Before he could attack the Captain of the Eleventh any more, Kenpachi's zanpakuto lunged out, and stuck his blade between the splinter between Ichigo's mask, the one last line between Ichigo and pure Hollowfication. The Hollow roars as his mask is ripped off, and Ichigo returns to Soul Reaper form.

The Soul Reaper pants as he regains his breath. He looks up, and sees Kenpachi and some unknown man standing over him. Based on the spirit pressure, he could tell that it was Kenny's zanpakuto, "Name." He said to the zanpakuto, "Tell him your name." Before he could say any more, he heard something roaring. He turned, and saw a Hollow being dragged off by Second Division ninjas. Soi Fong just sat there, and Omaeda was trying his best to hide behind her, hoping that the Hollow wouldn't do the same to him. "Just when the fight was getting fun, you HAD to ruin it." Kenny punched his zanpakuto square in the jaw, and he grabbed that area, cricked it back into place, and replied, "I had to talk to you. The fight with Ichigo Kurosaki, as amazing as it could be, will have to wait. Besides, your own sheer power just won't cut it. You need my assistance. You saw what happened during the fight, how my blade form became sharper. That, master Kenpachi, is Onryo*, my only technique. The longer and greater the battle, the sharper I become. This way, I fit in with your style of holding everything back until things get fun. You've noticed before, haven't you? How I tried to alter my form for you? Yet you pushed me back. You should be lucky I ain't the kinda guy to hold grudges. Name's Shizensaigai*, by the way. Nice meeting you for real, asshole." He looked at Ichigo, and said, "Hey, when you get the chance, boy, let me fight that old man that I saw healing you way back when." Kenpachi walked away, with this Shizensaigai following close behind. He cast a look over his shoulder, "So, how about that fight?" Shizensaigai grinned, causing Kenny's grin to become even wider.

**Over Mayuri's shoulder POV…**

As the buffoons were fighting, Mayuri was arguing with Soi Fong, "But I NEED to study what that Hollow is capable of! You saw what it did! Ichigo Kurosaki himself said that his being a Vizard had ended, and that Hollow managed to reawaken his!" "And I need to interrogate him. He's intelligent, unlike your current pet project. When we're done with him, we'll give him to you, along with any information we get from him. Omaeda, get this thing moving, and quick." The Captain Shunpo'd off, with her Lieutenant saluting, and ordering his troops to hurry up and move. Mayuri smacked his face, and then got an idea. He looked at Ichigo Kurosaki, and was looming over the Substitute Soul Reaper, "I've got quite the set of tests for you, boy." Ichigo swallowed nervously, and before he could move, Nemu grabbed him by the collar, "Good work, Nemu. I didn't even have to tell you. You're turning out to be useful for once." Nemu quietly responded, yet somehow being quite clear over Ichigo's protests, "Thank you, Master Mayuri." Mayuri signaled for Ashisogi Jizo to paralyze him. Ashisogi Jizo slashed Ichigo's legs, and arms. Ichigo roared as the venom shut his nerves down, and it didn't hide any pain. '_I might not get to analyze what the thinker can do, but I wonder if the idiot will do the same thing… One way to find out!_' Mayuri and his Division carried the reinstated Vizard to the Twelfth Division for testing, while he roared and yelled, "PLEASE DON'T DO THIS! PLEASE MAYURI! YOU KNOW YOU DON'T WANNA DO THIS TO ME!" '_I hate to disappoint the boy, but I want to, and I know I do. That sounded weird._' Mayuri continued to contemplate his speech skills while Ichigo kept on struggling.

**Later, at the Twelfth Division's Classified Research Department…**

The boy was still struggling, and Mayuri watched with grave interest as he and the Hollow were put in two separate rooms, with a thin wall between them. A small needle descended from the ceiling, and it injected Ichigo with antivenom for Ashisogi Jizo's poison. Ichigo got up, and got used to moving his limbs again, just as the wall lifted, and the Hollow attacked him. Ichigo yelped, and moved to the side. The Hollow kept on lashing out, and clawing, but it wasn't using the attack that Mayuri was looking for. He wanted it to eject its flesh tendrils, like how the other one did. He was hoping it would have the same effect, and he could use Ashisogi Jizo to immobilize the Vizard for research. THAT would be the day, when he gets his hands upon a Hollowfied Soul Reaper. Then he stopped his daydreaming when he saw the creature unleash its tendrils. He looked like a kid in a candy store, the way he was smiling. Then, his face went to one of curiosity, then confusion, and then surprise, as the Hollow's tendrils stole Zangetsu from him, and began to rip the weapon apart, "STOP THAT THING!"

**With Zangetsu…**

Zangetsu was walking around, and viewing the beautiful plant life, which was never in Ichigo's mind, when he felt a disgusting pain in his stomach. And I don't mean the front, I mean INSIDE the hobo zanpakuto. He felt as if his very body started a civil war, the way it was hurting itself. He felt his own stomach fluids annihilating his innards, and the ones that weren't being attacked by that, were attacking themselves. His lungs popped, and released air into his entire chest. His liver was bubbling up, and he puked. Almost 50% of his vomit was of blood. He sat there, writhing in pain, soaking in his own blood and puke, screaming for help. He felt his spirit pressure fading, and fast. All he could do at this point, was scream, and hope somebody came around to help him.

**With Byakuya and Senbonzakura…**

Byakuya Kuchiki was walking in his manor, with his zanpakuto, Senbonzakura, following behind. Then he heard a loud cry of pain, and he instantly began to shunpo to the location. He found himself staring at the zanpakuto of Ichigo Kurosaki, the Substitute Soul Reaper, who was coated in blood and vomit. He quickly looked to Senbonzakura, and the both of them pulled out their blades, "Scatter, Senbonzakura." The petals became a bed of sorts, and it lifted Zangetsu into the air, and the two nobles moved as fast as they could to the Fourth, knowing that he needed treatment.

**Back with Ichigo…**

Ichigo had his own problems, too. First off, Zangetsu's weapon form was being ripped apart, and he was entangled in tendrils, and he could feel his spirit pressure dropping, even though it didn't wound him. The Hollow looked to Ichigo, and spoke, "I have to. I'm sorry, but I have to." The voice sounded like a recorded message, and Ichigo didn't much want to listen to it. He unleashed spirit pressure, but the tendrils kept on eating his spirit pressure. Mayuri himself burst in, and he had some sort of gun aimed at the Hollow. He fired, and it caught up the creature in a net. The net electrocuted both Hollow and Soul Reaper, and the creature still held on to him. Mayuri pulled Ashisogi Jizo's sword form from his belt, and shouted, "Rip asunder, Ashisogi Jizo!" The sword's blade became a trident, with Ashisogi Jizo's baby head as the crossguard. He sliced the Hollow's neck, thinking that he could cut the tendrils off from their effort. NO WAY was he going to lose this prime experiment to some freak of nature. The Hollow dropped when the venom set in, and Ichigo stared into its human eye, which was filled with despair. He looked into that eye, and it launched a tendril into his brain.

**Memory transfer sequence!...**

Ichigo looked around, and saw memories of a grey wasteland everywhere, '_Hueco Mundo…_' He thought, and he saw a 'screen' of the Hollow's point of view. It was behind a cage, and it was gnashing and snarling, with other Hollows doing similar things, though not out of anger or bloodlust, but from fear. It didn't know what would happen to itself, and it was afraid it would die. It saw something walk in front of the cage. Ichigo scowled, recognizing the designs upon the white suit as those of Arrancar. There were two, side by side, with smaller Hollows surrounding them. One of them pointed at this Hollow, and said, "We'll start with this one." The other replied, "Of course, Master." The second one made a small hand motion, and the cage opened, with the Hollows grabbing this one, and dragging it to an operating table. Ichigo could FEEL every action that the Hollow did, as if he was LIVING the memory. They threw the poor thing onto the table, and then the second one asked, "What do you wish for us to do with this one, sir?" The first lightly responded, "Let's initiate Project Blade Crasher with this one." The second one looked at the first, "Pardon? This one is to become Blade Crasher? I don't think he'll survive. You know how the prototypes wound up." The second one pointed with his thumb towards a pile of bodies in the corner. Ichigo could feel this Hollow's blood pump faster, with fear. It cried out, "PLEASE! LET ME GO! I DON'T WANNA!" The first put his hand upon the Hollow's face, and said, "There, there. You won't even feel a thing." With that, Ichigo could feel this one crush its neck, and knock it out. He felt the pain, and then another screen appeared. In this one, it was looking into a mirror, and it saw what Ichigo knew of it, torn mask, pulsating flesh, one truly human eye. It felt pain and despair, with the second, he remembered by voice, put his, or her, hand on the Hollow's shoulder, "It's alright, Project B.C. It's not pleasant at first, but you'll get over it." Then, the Hollow, and now Ichigo, felt unending rage. It lashed out, and it tried to kill the being who dared to do that to it. The Arrancar grabbed its throat, and called, "Hey, somebody get over here. I think our patient needs its medication." A small bat-like Hollow dropped a needle into the Hollow's neck, and all went black.

**Outside…**

The sudden pain of the tendril being ripped from his head made Ichigo jump back in pain, grabbing his head as a small trail of blood flew out, and hit the ground. He looked at the Hollow, and got down on one knee, "Hey, you ok? Hello?" He adjusted as the creature's tendrils moved back and filled in its face. It looked up, and said, "Please, kill me now. I've already told you too much. They're going to-" He put his hand on its shoulder, "Hey, no one's going ot hurt you. You're safe now." The Hollow placed its claws on it head, and spoke again, "No, you're wrong. They know, they know I would do this. They knew I would. Now, they're going to take me back. I don't want to go back. Kill me now, PLEASE!" The creature grabbed Ichigo's shoulders, and shook him. He grabbed it, and said, "CALM DOWN! I'm telling you, you'll be fine. Just not near that guy." He shot his thumb over to Mayuri, who just threw him aside, and grabbed his torture victim, "You can talk? You could talk the whole time? Tell me everything! What was going on with the- OOF!" Ichigo punched him to the side, and carefully picked up the small Hollow, and carried him out of the Twelfth Division.

**Outside, of the outside (Outsideception!) **

He carefully walked the Hollow towards the Fourth Division barracks, since it was in need of serious care, when Byakuya shunpo'd right in front of him, "Ichigo, I found your zanpakuto in severe pain near my garden. I brought him to the Fourth Divi-…" He stared at the small Hollow, who cowered behind Ichigo. Byakuya sighed, and looked Ichigo in the eye, "I'm only going to ask this once, why are you dragging that disgusting Hollow out of the research quarters it was confined to?" Ichigo put it all together when Byakuya said, 'Zangetsu in pain'. The Hollow was named Project Blade Crasher; it grabbed Ichigo's zanpakuto, and tried to tear it apart. It also tried to remove his spirit pressure, meaning only one thing: He was made to remove Soul Reaper's powers, to reduce them to weak human souls. This was sickening beyond all belief, and it explains why this Hollow apologized for doing this, and why it was berserk. The machine didn't just hide it, it made this thing berserk. The experiments Mayuri conducted MUST have made it loose the blood in its body that had the berserk chemicals. Whoever was behind this was sicker than he thought. He looked at Byakuya, and said, "No time for that. Where's the First Division? I need to talk to the old man." Byakuya slowly pointed, and Ichigo snatched the Hollow, and started to shunpo towards the First Division.

**In the First Division HQ…**

Head Captain Yamamoto was sipping his tea, when his Lieutenant, Chojiro Sasakibe, approached him, and said, "Do you feel that?" Yamamoto raised his head, and said, "Yes, Chojiro. Ichigo Kurosaki is approaching us, and with a Hollow spirit pressure with him. But, what does he want, and who is this Hollow?" As if that was a cue on stage, Ichigo Falcon Kicked the door open, and just looked at the Head Captain, "We need to talk."


	4. Episode 4: Pieces in Place

Bleach: Blade Crasher arc

Episode 4: Pieces in place

**WAZAAAAAAAAP? I know I've been delayed a while, so I decided to take this time I have to do this. It took a lot of thought, and I hope you enjoi! DISCLAIMEEEEEER! King!**

**King: The human owns nothing. I now own Hueco Mundo. I also sound like Bane from Dark Knight Rises. And I also own my ingenious plan.**

**ONWAAAAAAAAAARD!**

"As much as I trust you're telling the truth, Ichigo Kurosaki, I have to state what I think is best: no." What Yamamoto was referring to was the idea that Ichigo Kurosaki brought up during his explanation: Ichigo could go into Hueco Mundo, and annihilate whoever is performing these twisted experiments on Hollows. "WHY NOT? THESE CREATURES ARE MAKING ABOMINATIONS, AND YER JUST GONNA SIT BACK AS THEY DO IT?" Genryusai just quickly replies, "I can see where you're coming from, Ichigo. But what Hollows do to each other isn't our concern. Our concern is the safety of human souls, and making sure they reach the Soul Society safely." Ichigo now has a look of shock and pain on his face. Yamamoto drives in the last nail on the coffin, "Don't forget, it was a Hollow that killed your mother." The Substitute Soul Reaper responds violently, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He unleashes a pile of spirit pressure that knocks Yamamoto's Captain's haori clean off. His spirit pressure regains balance, yet is still on edge. His bangs are draped over his eyes, and he just lets everything out, "Do you know why Hollows exist? BECAUSE OF YOU!" His head snaps up, and his eyes are full of hatred, "HOLLOWS WOULDN'T EXIST IF YOU IDIOTS WORKED MORE, AND CARED FOR ALL SOULS EQUALLY! IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU ASSHOLES THAT MY MOM'S DEAD! IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT GRAND FISHER WAS BORN! IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT ORIHIME'S OLDER BROTHER DIED AND BECAME ACID WIRE! IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT AIZEN HAD A DAMN WAY TO MAKE THOSE MOTHERFUCKING ARRANCAR!" Ichigo's spirit pressure had officially ripped apart the Captain's barracks of the First Division, with the surrounding area reduced to rubble. Ichigo tosses his head up, with his left eye now bearing a yellow pupil, and black sclera. "**Because of you, I got to come around. I gotta thank you fer that, ya old fuck. But now, I don't need ya anymore. But, fer all ya did fer Ichigo, I'll make it quick and painless.**" A white mask had begun to form on Ichigo's left forehead, and over that eye. It looked like a human skull, and the left eye's pupil was now a golden half circle with a small spike on the edge. His other eye was normal, but still colored like the first. He shunpo's in front of Yamamoto, and tries to swing Zangetsu onto the Head Captain's… well, his head. His progress is blocked by the blade of Chojiro, who utters the release command of his zanpakuto, "Pierce the Heavens, Gonryomaru!" His zanpakuto gains a hand guard, and it electrifies. The electricity blasts back the Hollowfied Soul Reaper hybrid, which just emits a laughter that actually brings fear to Yamamoto's eyes. The two look at each other, and Yamamoto's walking cane dissolves, revealing the sealed Ryujin Jakka. He looks at his lieutenant, and he charges, repeatedly stabbing and unleashing bolts of lightning at the chimera, who shrugs them off and begins to regenerate instantly, thereby accelerating his Hollowfication process. Moron. Anyways, the Hollow (I'll give the lad a name later) begins to strike and slice at the World's Most Refined Lieutenant, who counters and zaps the creature, knowing it's only a matter of time.

**Within the mind of Ichigo Kurosaki…**

Ichigo looked around at the sideways world, with his eyes locking onto the Hollow, who had an inverted form of the mask on its face. He just lifted it up, revealing his pale face, which bore a grin a skyscraper (get it?) long. "**Well, if it ain't the wimp. Finally decided to show yer face around here again? We really need to catch up, Ichigo. I've been sleeping quite a while, and I think I could use the EXERCISE!**" On the final word, the Hollow rushes forward, and begins striking Ichigo. Ichigo dodges, and starts to retaliate, though poorly, since he's not used to the Hollow's rabid fighting style. He brings Zangetsu up, "GETSUGA!" The Hollow replies, "**TENSHO!**" The blasts collide, yet Ichigo uses the dust to move sideways, while the Hollow charges through. Upon seeing his quarry isn't present, the monster looks around, and feels a blade in his stomach. He looks, and sees the regular Zangetsu through his gut. He looks over his shoulder, "**It's gonna take more than that to kill me in here, Ichigo. I got all my strength here, and you know what that means.**" Ichigo wrenches the blade from his Hollow's stomach, and jumps back. The wound reseals, and the Hollow begins his maniacal laughter again, "**BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! That's all yer gonna do?**" The Hollow turns, with his mask at least covering sixty percent of Ichigo's face. He points at it, "**This means how close I am to taking full control, asshole.**" Then, his body grows in size, with his Soul Reaper robes ripping, revealing lined, muscular flesh that wishes to tear open the being in front of it. A reptilian tail swerves behind, with a blue flame design on it. The black scaly form sticks out easy in this environment, so Ichigo has that much of an advantage. He swings, unleashing another Getsuga Tensho, and another, and another. They all pile up, and he roars the word he had hoped wouldn't have to pass his lips, "BANKAI!" But nothing happens. His butcher knife is still a butcher knife. He tries again, "BANKAI!" He feels his spirit pressure momentarily increase, but nothing more. "_Ichi…go… It's me…Ich…igo…_" The voice of Zangetsu reaches Ichigo's, and the Hollow's, ears. They stop, and look around wildly, yet see nothing. "_I… am not here… Fourth… Division… healing… we..ak…_" Ichigo and the Hollow show very grand interest in the topic. The Hollow looks to his master, "**Looks like I know our next destination.**"

**Outside… again…**

Chojiro was running out of options. Ichigo Kurosaki's Vizard form was wrecking him, and his elegant style couldn't match the monster's barebones 'kill-everything' style. The creature stopped short, and fired a cero into his stomach. He was knocked back, and he prepared Gonryomaru for Bankai, when the monster leaped away, showing no more interest in the fight. It tears through the streets of the Seireitei, mercilessly slaughtering any Soul Reaper that was in its way. Problem is, that was all of them, since this Hollow didn't know the way to the Fourth Division, and was running in circles. It had just reached the Fourth, when he smelled a large enemy to his left. He brings up Zangetsu, and narrowly blocks Kenpachi Zaraki's Shizensaigai. The Hollow snarls, and ceros him back. It thrusts its chest forward, and from the Hollow hole, it spews out a long, white worm. The monster roars, and tries to swallow Kenpachi whole. First mistake, he's the size of a goddamn Buick. Second mistake, this thing's the size of a luxury sports car. Third mistake, this is Kenpachi we're talking about. He always wins. Well, most of the time. Anyways, he just rips the thing in half with his free hand, and then rushes forward at the Hollow. He pierces its left lung, and then draws his blade through, toward the Hollow hole. He slowly draws his blade out, and turns around. He walks away, "How boring." He feels a large spirit pressure eruption behind, and turns again. At that moment, most of the Captains and Lieutenants arrived on scene. Tenth Division Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya swings his zanpakuto, with said creature, a man partly frozen, doing the same. They summon ice dragons that envelop the Hollow in ice, and immobilize it. Soi Fong gives a polite, "Good thinking." They watch as Ichigo Kurosaki begins to shrink down to regular size. They breathe a sigh of relief, but at that moment, the Eleventh Division's Third Seat, Ikkaku Madarame, points out something, "We've got a problem!" Apparently, the second Hollow they captured used the activation of Ichigo's Hollow form as an escape route. It was now holding up Zangetsu, with its tendrils wrapping around him, and piercing his flesh (ew…). Zangetsu roars in agony, and disappears into the ice. They ponder for a moment, but Ichigo answers the question for them, "**RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH !**"

Ichigo broke from the ice in one simple motion, and like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, he had taken upon a new shape. He was now slimmer, with his mask complete, wrapping around his head. On the sides were two horns that pointed in the direction he would face. There were black markings on the front of the mask that went down his eye sockets, past the chin, and to his Hollow hole, which had two more markings descending into it as well (Spiderman! Spiderman! Does whatever a spider can!) His zanpakuto had become elongated, with the three edges at the tip. He had become destruction incarnate. All the while, the small Hollow was watching, with a small camera between his forehead muscles viewing the action as well.

**In Hueco Mundo…**

"Master King, was this supposed to happen?" A very anxious Syazel turns to his leader, who was merely pondering in deep thought, "No, no. But, this DOES add a little… spice into the dish, shall we say. Activate Project SD." Syazel had a look of confusion, "Why would we want to blow our minions up, sir?" King looked over his shoulder, aggravated, "Not Self Destruct, Seireitei Downfall, you idiot!" Syazel retreated at the minor increase of his master's spirit pressure, and just adjusts his Hollow Mask glasses, "Why, yes. Of course." He turns, and presses a button. On a map of the Seireitei, a large amount of gray dots become red, and start to close in upon the blue dot: Project HI, aka Hollow Infector.

**Back to the Fourth Division…**

Project HI couldn't be happier. The master's plan was going PERFECTLY! He heard the sound of Project SD approaching, and did a simple Hollow ritual towards Ichigo Kurosaki. He bowed, and began to make certain snarls and growls that indicated submission. The other Hollows, all equally deformed, also performed the same thing. The Hybrid Hollow merely pondered for a moment, and roared in triumph. His minions rose up, and, obeying the snarling roar, responded, indicating their servitude. Ichigo turned, and faced the pack of Soul Reapers. He rushed, attacking Yamamoto first. Yamamoto blocked with Ryujin Jakka's sheathe, and drew the sealed blade. From behind, his zanpakuto's true form, an ever roaring fire, obliterated whole waves of the monsters. Yamamoto just glared at Ichigo, and shunpo'd back. He hold Ryujin Jakka in front of himself, and utters the words to the most powerful Shikai ever, "Reduce all creation to ash… Ryujin Jakka!" His sword was engulfed in flame, and he swung, countering Ichigo's Kuroi Getsuga-powered blade. He swung at Ichigo, who countered each time with a slice of equal power. Ichigo swung hard, and didn't allow Yamamoto to pull his blade back this time. He pressed, and the thin lines on his horns illuminated with red spirit pressure. It trailed towards the tips, where the created a red ball of spirit pressure. Definition: one big-ass cero about to hit an overpowered old man in the face. The blast knocked Yamamoto back, and he replied with waves of flame, directed towards Ichigo's mask. As Ichigo repelled them, he used the Hollow version of shunpo, sonido, and disappeared. He reappeared after Kenpachi tried to football tackle him. He aimed his blade, and struck Kenpachi's back, revealing a rib, with a long crack on it. Kenpachi turned, and swung Shizensaigai, whose Onryo ability had already made it sharper than any other sword in the Seireitei. The blades collided, black-and-red against yellow. They roared at each other, and Ichigo kicked Kenpachi in the knee, bending it backwards. At that moment, Shizensaigai cut down another dozen or so SDs, and ran to assist his master. He appeared next to his master, "Kenpachi, you alright?" "Yeah, what's it to ya?" Shizensaigai sliced at an SD behind him, and then helped up his master, "Come on, you need to fight weaker enemies until that knee heals. I don't wanna die because of yer asshole battle instinct."

Soi Fong thought she could try her luck at taking down the Hollow Hybrid. She and Suzumebachi used their superior speed to get around Ichigo so they could stab him. They both his him in the ribs, intending to circle around and hit the other's target. But, when they got around, they were shocked to find that the marks were missing. He had regenerated so fast, not even Suzumebachi's venom could be usable for long. They both swallowed, and Ichigo swat them both down like flies. Well, one WAS an insect… YOU GET MY POINT!

Next up was a combined effort from Byakuya and Senbonzakura. They both pointed their blades at the ground, and in perfect, aristocratic unison, "Bankai. Senbonzakura Kageyoshi." Their blades emerged times a thousand, and from the ground, "Scatter, Senbonzakura Kageyoshi." The blades separated into thousands of tiny sakura petals, which were blades in disguise. The blades flung themselves at Ichigo, who took them all head on, even knocking a large cluster of them away. He was about to attack, when he was hit from both ends by twin freight trains. Correction, twin Hihio Zabimaru. The two snakes unleashed Hikotsu Taiho into Ichigo's sides, and left him a thin stickman. He pulled himself together almost instantly after. Tensa Zangetsu had fallen to the ground, and he made a single motion, with the blade going through Zabimaru herself, and he caught it perfectly. He swung it, and unleashed a wave of pure wind from the force of his blast that he knocked Renji's Hihio Zabimaru from his grasp. He aimed, and launched a huge cero at Byakuya and Senbonzakura.

Right before the two could even call their petals, the blast was stopped by Ukitake's zanpakuto, Sogyo no Kotowari. The twin children aimed their fans, which absorbed his cero perfectly, and then shot it back the millisecond after it hit the right brother's fan, through the left ones. They giggled, and high-fived, "WE GOT 'IM!" They stood there, shocked, to see that he hadn't suffered any damage at all, and stopped his own full-power cero with his bare hand. He just growled, and appeared between the two, momentarily dropping Tensa Zangetsu, and grabbing them by their heads. He threw them both into Byakuya and Senbonzakura with the sheer force of fourteen torpedoes. He picked up Tensa Zangetsu, and he felt his hand go cold. He turned, and saw Rukia Kuchiki, with Sode no Shirayuki at her side. The two both had Sode's Shikai at the ready, and Sode no Shirayuki froze his other arm. Rukia walked towards the Hollowfied Soul Reaper, who only a year and a half ago, she had given up her powers to. "Ichigo, I know you can hear me. Listen to me, please. Don't let this thing control you. It's not who you are. It never will be. YOU HEAR ME, ICHIGO! DON'T LIVE A LIE! IT'S NOT IN CONTROL!" The creature only roared in response, and ripped itself from the ice. It purposefully ignored her, and gave a small hand signal. At that moment, HI appeared and stuck her in the back with his tendrils (I know what yer thinking. It ain't that. Just her back, nothing else.). "Oh, thut hath we here? It lookths like the's got an interethting little thecret to hide. Let'th bring it to light, thall we?" He launched some spirit pressure down the line, and did what Syazel Apporo Granz altered him for: to implement Hollow spirit pressure into human souls, even those in Rukongai. His design worked hand-in-hand with Blade Crasher, who was supposed to reduce Soul Reapers to human level by, well, crashing their zanpakuto, which holds a large portion of their power, and pretty much is what makes them Soul Reapers. Anyways, the petite Soul Reaper Lieutenant cries in agony as the tendrils release pure Hollow essence into her. She leans low, and Sode no Shirayuki groans in agony, and disappears. Ichigo turns, and floats into the air, unleashing a sh*t ton of spirit pressure.

They all looked as the Hollow rose into the air, and gave off a war cry unlike anything they've ever seen, "**Grrr…Hurrrgh…grooooogh…kehh… arrrrgh…. GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAGH!**" As he roared, his red spirit pressure began to shake all of the Seireitei, and the Rukongai districts as well. Both sides, Soul Reaper and Hollow, both cast their gaze towards the Hollow. Rukia cries in agony, as HI lifts his head, purposefully adjusting his tendrils to increase the pain of the technique. Ichigo's spirit pressure creates a rip in the skyline, and Hollows start to pour through it. Captain Sajin Komamura, a wolf-man, looks at the Head Captain, "Head Captain, is that a-?" "Yes, Komamura. Ichigo Kurosaki's become so powerful that he can create a Hollow's Garganta technique just with his sheer spirit pressure. He is summoning an army, and right into our own home. I'm afraid I'll have to…" Sajin looks at the person who was practically his father, "You don't mean to use your Bankai, do you, Head Captain?" Yamamoto's eyes narrow, "Yes, I do. RYUJIN JAKKA! COME FORTH!" He aims his zanpakuto towards Ichigo, and his spirit pressure, along with Ryujin Jakka's, improves greatly, far out powering anything Kenpachi could whip up. Yamamoto roars, and so does Ryujin Jakka, his was the roar of flame. The fire almost cries, in its loud, inconceivable voice, "_Ban…kai…_" Yamamoto glares, and yells, "ICHIGO KUROSAKI! You have left me no choice but to destroy you on the field of battle. Ban…KAI!" Both he and Ryujin Jakka ignite in fire. Armageddon had officially started, and hell, it's not even lunch time.

**Oh, SWEET JESUS! Yamamoto's forbidden Bankai? DEAR GOD, I'VE OVERDONE IT! By the way, get the Arkham City reference? One of Joker's last lines, "And hell, it's not even breakfast." Well, CIAO!**


	5. Episode 5: The End? Not even close

Bleach: Blade Crasher Arc

Episode 5: The end? Not even close.

**WAZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAP?** ***breaks head through door* Heeeeeere's Heavendemon29! Well, I've been taking a while because I needed to think up the name for Yamamoto's Bankai. Yeah, I had several names, and it took me a while to pick the most fitting one. Anyways, DISCLAIMEEEER! RYUJIN JAKKA!  
**

**Ryujin Jakka: *flickering flame noises***

**Uhm… Onward?**

Hollow Ichigo… wait, screw this. I'm gonna give him a name. And before you say anything else, I'm NOT calling him 'Shirosaki', or 'Hichigo'. So… hows about… Onigami! It means Ogre. He's like an ogre, isn't he? Alright then. From now on, Ichigo's Inner Hollow is to be named Onigami! Ok, then. Back to the real story.

Onigami growls at the pillar of flames that flicker before him. It surges, and recedes, revealing Head Captain Yamamoto, with white flame jets upon various parts of his body. He opens his eyes, and utters the name of this all-powerful Bankai, "Shiroi Ryujin Jakka." That means White Flowing Blade-like Flame. I know I really didn't change it much, but I had no choice. Anyways, he raises his now white-hot sword, and the sheer heat from moving it melts stone. Yamamoto aims the sword at the Hollow-Soul Reaper hybrid, and shunpo's. Onigami sonido's and his blade collides with Yamamoto's. He roars, releasing more spirit pressure, barely able to match his aged and withered foe. He flies back, launches multiple Getsuga, and disappears again.

Yamamoto waves his sword, forming a wall of white flame. The wave disintegrates the Getsuga, and gives Yamamoto about zero-point-one second to plan. He shunpo's up, as Onigami stabs from behind. Shiroi Ryujin Jakka also engulfs the Hollowfied Human in flame. Yamamoto drops his blade, leaving a deadly scar on Onigami's stomach. The Hollow repairs instantly, launching a cero into his offender's face. He sonido's away, and Yamamoto shunpo's, following the Hollow closely. They become two comets, one of red, the other of white. They continue to collide and jump away, unleashing waves of spirit pressure that become lures to Hollows through the Garganta Onigami created. They begin attacking; only adding to the pressure of the fight. Yamamoto forces multiple waves of white-hot flames to push back the chimera. Onigami roars in response, as he charges up a full-powered Cero Gigante. He lowers his head, with the red spirit pressure gathering up. "**Graaaaaaagh... I will… help…**"

Onigami fires, the sheer intensity of the technique forcing rocks and stones to fling through the air. "Oh-hoh-ho! Would ya look at that? It lookths like the old man'th chanthes are pretty low!" Project HI quipped, with spirit pressure still flowing into the (midget) Lieutenant. Rukia stays silent, past the pain of the tongues forcing Hollow energy into her. She grabs the tendrils, causing HI to look up in mild amusement, "What hath we here?" Rukia turns her head, her eyes now a dull violet, "_**A dead Hollow.**_" She rips the tendrils from her back, and flicks her wrist, summoning a scythe with a red, almost crystal blade. She brings it down into the Hollow's head, and rips it out. She turns, with black-and-purple spirit pressure leaking like a faucet on full. She looks, her eyes set on Onigami.

Onigami instantly took note of the transformation, and turned. His golden eyes met violet. Two fallen angels glared at each other. Onigami growled, and returned to the fight at hand. He swung Tensa Zangetsu into the air, gathering energy for a massive Getsuga. The spirit pressure began to lift rocks, actually negating the effects of gravity on solid spirit pressure (rocks and other stuff, ya wing nuts!). Onigami glared, his yellow eyes only saw one target, and that was this being of flame. In his eyes, he didn't see an old man, or a Soul Reaper. All he saw were enemies. Whether or not they helped him now was of now difference. They would all die sooner or later. The Getsuga finished, taking the shape of a skull. Onigami roared, launching the wave of spirit pressure at his opponent.

Yamamoto brought up Shiroi Ryujin Jakka, summoning multiple enormous bursts of flame. The blasts did little to deter the huge Kuroi Getsuga Tensho. Yamamoto realized that too late. His eyes widened as the blast approached him, ready to rip him apart. He winced, ready for the worst, yet he never felt it. He opened his eyes, looking right at Captain Komamura, and his Bankai, Kokujo Tengen Myo-jo. The colossus was blocking the entire Getsuga, with Komamura bleeding heavily on his hands and stomach. If his Bankai was harmed, so was he. Komamura looked back to the Head Captain, "Head Captain… please… don't let us lose this… fight…" He passes out from blood loss, and his Bankai disintegrates. Yamamoto becomes very cross, "Ichigo Kurosaki. This has gone too far. You must be stopped." He feels something powerful erupt at the Garganta. Far more powerful than Kenpachi without his eyepatch, that's for sure. He and Onigami both halt, and face the incoming power.

Onigami looks at the Garganta, and senses an enormously powered-up opponent. "**GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!**" He sonido's towards it, intending to kill the enemy. He gets right up in front of the portal to Hueco Mundo, bringing his zanpakuto down on the enemy's head, yet his blade never completes the journey. "Now, now. Why would you attack the person who was responsible for your awakening in the first place?" It was King. He grasped Tensa Zangetsu with only one hand, easily overpowering the Hollow Hybrid. Onigami snarled, pushing a Getsuga into his foe's palm. The wave of energy did little to move King. "I think you gave me a scab." He used his free hand, and ripped off Ichigo's/Onigami's arm. He then pulled Tensa Zangetsu from its grasp, and stuck it through his neck. King merely 'tsk tsk' the chimera, and kicked his into the path of incoming Yamamoto and company.

The Soul Reapers dodged the pale missile, and returned to their attack. Soi Fong entered the ring first, yet before she could even get within ten yards of the Garganta, King flickered, and she felt a strong fist in her face. Uhm… let me elaborate. King's sonido skill is so grand, he managed to outdo the Second Squad Captain, and she's the fastest of the current group.

Mayuri ignored her condition entirely, holding Ashisogi Jizo in the air in front of him, with said spirit copying its master's action, "BANKAI! Konjinki Ashisogi Jizo!" Both the blade and the spirit became large caterpillars with… baby faces. I'm talking butt-ugly, horrific baby faces. They flew out intending on drowning King in toxic gases, but he merely flicked his finger, and launched a tiny bala, or mini-cero. The thing was barely the size of a booger, yet its blast radius was large enough to nearly equal Onigami's Cero.

Kenpachi leered, teaming up with Byakuya and Senbonzakura, and Shizensaigai. Senbonzakura and Byakuya aimed their hands, with both of their sets of petals combining in one large Gokei Senbonzakura Kageyoshi. The bubble offered King little room for escape. Byakuya and Senbonzakura squeezed their hands into fists, intending on using their Gokei as a blender. King merely flicked his wrist, knocking back about ninety-nine percent of the petals. The remaining one percent behind him was a cloud for Kenpachi and Shizensaigai. King grabbed both of their Shikai, broke them, and shoved the broken blades into the other's stomach.

Yamamoto glared as Kenpachi and Shizensaigai hit the dirt. He looked at the Arrancar, "What is your name, Arrancar?" The mask less Hollow laughs, "Well, since you asked nicely, my name is King. Pleasure to finally meet you, Genryusai Yamamoto." King gave a hand signal, with multiple Adjuchas class Menos Grande Hollow forming a ring around himself and Yamamoto. He cricked his neck, releasing enough spirit pressure from the action to kill at least fourteen of them. They were quickly replaced.

Yamamoto swung Shiroi Ryujin Jakka, engulfing the Arrancar in flames. King flexed his muscles, with his Arrancar coat burning off in the process. Now, he wears a white armor like X shaped belt on his chest, with wrist bracers. He aimed his hand, and began to shake his fingers back and forth. They unleashed hordes of Bala, all aimed for the Head Captain. Before they could reach him, his Lieutenant appeared in front of him, sword raised in front of his chest, "Bankai…" His blade erupted into thunder and lightning, forming a large dome of electrical energy. "Koko Gonryo Rikyu." He swings his hands, creating bolts that were fast enough to counter every individual Bala, and strong enough to dispel them, too. He assumes a stance like Cole McGrath from infamous when he does Lightning Storm, and barrages the Garganta, and its occupant. He looks to his Captain, "Eijisai! We must close the Garganta!" Yamamoto swung Shiroi Ryujin Jakka, adding fire to this… 'hot' mess. Get it? Ah well, they continue to attack the Garganta, and King. After about ten minutes of consistent barrage, Soi Fong, healed by the Fourth Division's Captain, Retsu Unohona, jumps up, with Suzumebachi next to her. They call in unison, "BANKAI!" Suzumebachi becomes more of a large queen bee, with an enormous RPG-sized stinger. Soi Fong herself has a large RPG with yellow and black décor. The ninjas aim, and fire. The resultant blast, after THAT big of a barrage of attacks, had to have done something to King.

"OH HOH HOH HOH HOH! MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Gotcha. Anyways, King's laughing with no signs of visible damage. He flickers, and the Second Division Captain is blown back, into Fifth Division Captain Shinji Hirako. He dons his Hollow mask, which almost looks like a pharaoh's mask. He shunpo's to the side, and catches her. He tosses the Second Division Captain a lazy glance, "**Hey. Be more careful next time. I might not catch ya.**" He lets her go, and shunpo's into the ring of Adjuchas, which all cheer at the idea of another enemy. Shinji lazily draws his zanpakuto, and mutters, "**Collapse, Sakanade.**" His zanpakuto loses the handle, and gains a floating ring. He grins beneath his mask, and Sakanade begins to spin. King frowns underneath his Hollow gas mask, "You Soul Reapers really can't think well, can you?" He flickers, appearing in front of Shinji, and delivers a punch that breaks his mask. Shinji flies back, hitting a building.

From said building Shinji landed in, a black glove with claws bursts out. During Onigami's resting period, his Bankai uniform also regrew, courtesy of his spirit pressure forming into a cocoon. Now, he wore Ichigo's Bankai three-point-oh uniform, with his claws becoming pale white against the gloves. The x-pattern opening reveals his Hollow hole, and the black Spiderman-esque markings on his chest. He growls, dashing into the air, a comet of red spirit pressure. He bursts through the Adjuchas ring, killing most of them, and attacks King. King merely puts one hand behind his back, turns to the side, and blocks all of Onigami's attacks with the other. Onigami grasps Tensa Zangetsu with two hands, and brings it down on King. King barely shows any sign of struggle against the blade, as Onigami fuels it with Getsuga, and attempts to fry his hand again.

As the blast recedes, King looks at his hand, and gasps. His hand was now scorched. He pulled back, and kicked Onigami in the chin, breaking his mask. King retreats into the Garganta calling, "I'll be back." Yamamoto glares in curious hatred as he stares at Ichigo, no longer Onigami, which now descends to the streets below.

**Several hours later…**

Ichigo snaps to attention. He looks up, seeing a ceiling. He looks around, and finds Renji, Byakuya, and several others watching him. One fact instantly grabs hold of his mind, "Where's Rukia?" Renji sighs, "See for yourself." He points out the window, and the others move to grant Ichigo the view of the carnage. The Lieutenant was wielding the same scythe as she did almost two years ago, when her 'siblings' tried to keep her for themselves. They bonded with her, becoming this… thing that wasn't quite Vizard, but still had Hollow in it. Shinji lazily points out, "That HI guy did this. First thing the girl did was cleave his head from his shoulders. We still can't get a hold of her. Ichigo," Ichigo turns to the Fifth Division Captain, "You took her down last time, right? Well, can ya do it again?" Ichigo nods, shunpo's out, grabbing Zangetsu.

As the Substitute Vizard rushes out, he releases Zangetsu's full power, "BANKAI!" The black-and-red spirit pressure coats him, and he tears out, Tensa Zangetsu's chain swinging through the air. His blade collides with Hollow Rukia's scythe. '_Shit. That's right. Her scythe can do stuff to people's memories._' He jumped back, charging red and black spirit pressure, "GETSUGA," Rukia jumped up, bringing the scythe over her shoulder, aiming for his head, "TENSHO!" Rukia cut the blast in half. Ichigo raised his left hand, and motioned for her to come closer.

He wasn't actually motioning to her, however. The Getsuga blasts were reversing themselves, aiming for the back of Rukia. They hit her dead on, allowing him to impale her with Tensa Zangetsu. He heard the young man's voice, "Ichigo, we can't repeat what happened last time. Something's wrong with her now. We'll have to remove the problem personally." Ichigo blurted out, "Whaddya mean by that, Zangetsu?" Suddenly, Ichigo lost consciousness.

**Meanwhile, in Hueco Mundo…**

Syazel was slammed into a wall, "YOU IDIOT! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT THE SERUM WOULD ONLY LAST THAT LONG?" Syazel desperately tries to force air through his throat past his master's Hierro-enhanced hands, "Mas…ter… You…*cough* rushed…project…no time *Gasp* for field tests." King frowned behind his gas mask, and dropped Syazel, "Well, I suppose I had that coming. Now, I want you to find a way to make it last longer. Are we clear, Granz?" He charged a Cero in his hand, to prove his point. Syazel scampered back, calling over his shoulder, "I'll get right on it, Master King!" King sighed, and turned, revealing to the camera a compact machine on his back with multiple tubes filled with a bright gold fluid. He walked over to his throne, and ordered a Hollow to bring him a drink.

**Within the Inner World of Rukia Kuchiki (GASP)…**

Ichigo looked around, seeing a large frozen wasteland. He turned, and saw a large pool, about the size of the ocean. He looked inside, seeing his Bankai inner world, a submerged Karakura Town. Suddenly, two burs jumped past him, one white, and the other black. He turned again, seeing Tensa Zangetsu, a small teenage boy, who looked as if Zangetsu himself had gone back in time. The other was, well… Onigami. They both turned, with Onigami turning into his Hollow form, **Let's get to it, Ichigo. I've never gotten a chance to fight someone other than you, or that Muramasa prick.**" Ichigo looks at his zanpakuto, ignoring the request of his Hollow, "What's going on, Tensa Zangetsu?" The young boy sighs, "Ichigo, remember that I have particles of Muramasa within me. I've gained his ability to enter other Soul Reaper's inner worlds. The power isn't easy to manage, however. I still need to perfect it. Anyways, I used it to gain access to Rukia Kuchiki's inner world." Ichigo just nodded, and they dashed off, towards a mysterious light in the distance.

As they traveled, Ichigo looked to Tensa Zangetsu, "So, what did you mean by 'that won't work this time', Zangetsu?" Onigami chuckles, "**That HI guy did his job too well. It was easier for me to take control back there, in the old man's office. And now, it looks like ya can't just stuff yer energy inside the little chick this time because of that.**" Ichigo scowled at Onigami's comment, "Her name's Rukia, Onigami." He accelerated, intending to get this over with so he wouldn't have to listen to Onigami, "**Hey! Don't be like that! Well, I'm sorry if I insulted yer little girlfriend, Ichigo!**" "GETSUGA TENSHO!"

After Tensa Zangetsu broke up their argument, they finally arrived at the light. They stopped short, gaining surveillance of what Rukia's Hollow was doing. She had left Rukia and Sode no Shirayuki in bindings made from black and purple spirit pressure. The two struggled, yet they couldn't move. The Vizard spirit danced around, chanting nonsense about killing. Ichigo stopped when she reached a line about 'white horns.' He deadpanned to Onigami, "Onigami, what's going on with my body?" Onigami's regular grin grows wider under his Vasto Lorde class Hollow mask, "**Well, what the hell'd ya think I did? I'm not gonna leave it unattended while this thing fights ya, Ichigo.**" Ichigo sputters, "How are you here, AND running my body?" Tensa Zangetsu throws his hand over Ichigo's mouth, and pulls him down, "Quiet! We nearly lost our cover!" Ichigo tosses glance at his zanpakuto, "I think we've seen all we need. Simple, really. Don't let her hit you with that scythe, and we'll be just fine."

Ichigo bursts from the hill, his blade's spirit pressure coating growing in power, "GETSUGA," Onigami jumped to another angle, as well as Tensa Zangetsu, "TENSHO!" The trio of Getsuga, with Onigami's being colored white for some reason, created a huge blast. The smoke faded, with Hollow Rukia grinning from ear to ear, "_**Let's play.**_" Onigami, of course, crosses blades with her first. He turns into Vasto Lorde form the instant their blades crash. Get it, blade, crash… Nevermind. The two roar, their blades bending from the sheer force of ow much effort they're putting in. Onigami puts his hand against his blade, "**Getsuga Tensho.**" The blast sent Hollow Rukia careening back, straight into Tensa Zangetsu, "Getsuga… Tensho."

**One long Getsuga-powered pinball session later…**

The three had just about run out of options. No matter what, she just WOULD NOT DIE! Like Deadpool. Ichigo looked at Tensa Zangetsu, "Oi, old man. Any suggestions?" Tensa Zangetsu jumps back from a swing of Rukia's scythe, "I'm sorry Ichigo. I've got nothing. Literally, this thing is even more annoying than Onigami." Onigami is sent into the snow beside them from a Cero fired out of the scythe blade, "**I…heard that…**" He picked himself up, and aimed his horns at the other Vizard Hollow, "**I'm gonna show you why I've got the build of a Vasto Lorde, ya crazy bitch.**" The lines along the horns were illuminated by red Hollow spirit pressure, which formed into a perfect sphere. Onigami grinned, despite the image his Hollow mask gave off, "**Cero Garganta.**" Hollow Rukia grinned in an equally sadistic manner, and began charging a violet Cero on the blade of her scythe. She held it over her shoulder, and swung with all her might, "_**CERO!**_"

The two blasts pressed against each other, with Onigami's obviously having the advantage. Onigami decided to end the game, and shut this thing up already. He flew through both his own Cero, and his foe's. He ripped through, his flesh instantly regenerating. He thrusted Tensa Zangetsu into his victim's collarbone, forcing a Getsuga through it. The blast proved distraction enough for Ichigo to reach Rukia, "RUKIA! Hey, Rukia! You alright? Come on, wake up!" He did all of the regular 'wake up' stunts, slapping lightly, shaking, and all that jazz. The maniacal laugh of Rukia's Vizard form was all that responded, "_**HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! You'll never wake her up! I'm in control now! Nothing's gonna change that!**_" She ripped Tensa Zangetsu from her shoulder, and cut open Onigami, flinging him back into the pool of Ichigo's world. Ichigo called, "ONIGAMI! Damnit." He tore Rukia from her bindings, and lowered her to the ground.

**Okay, songfic part! I thought this song fit well with the theme. It's She Wolf (Falling to Pieces) By David Guetta, featuring Sia!**

_A shot in the dark  
A past lost in space  
And where do I start  
The past and the chase  
You hunted me down  
Like a wolf, a predator  
I felt like a deer in the lights  
_

He shook her, trying to wake her up as best as possible, but she sat there, eyes wide like a deer in the headlights.

_You loved me and I froze in time  
Hungry for that flesh of mine  
But I can't compete with the she-wolf, who has brought me to my knees  
What do you see in those yellow eyes?  
'Cause I'm falling to pieces  
_

He got up, and turned. He raised his hand to his face, and brought it down. A white skull covered his face, but tears still dripped past, right along the lines.

_I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
Falling to pieces  
_

He raised Tensa Zangetsu, gathering energy for a massive Getsuga.

_[beat break]  
_

The Getsuga was so massive, it even parted the clouds of the eternal snowstorm this world had. He brought it down, leaving a large cloud of dust.

_Did she lie and wait  
Was I bait, to pull you in  
The thrill of the kill  
You feel, as a sin  
Alone with the wolves  
And now it seems, I thought I was part of you  
_

He turned, and shook her again, "**Rukia! Come on! Wake up! You can't be gone! You just can't!**"

_You loved me and I froze in time  
Hungry for that flesh of mine  
But I can't compete with the she-wolf, who has brought me to my knees  
What do you see in those yellow eyes?  
'Cause I'm falling to pieces  
_

He shook her again, "**You can't! You can't be gone, because…**" He grew quiet, spirit pressure gathering around him, "**Because… I… love you…**"

_I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
Falling to pieces  
_

His spirit pressure ascended, further distorting the clouds above, giving way to the clear skies.

_[beat break]  
_

He turned again, eyes filled with rage, fresh tears flying from his face, "**You let her go RIGHT NOW!**"

_I'm falling to pieces  
Falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
Falling to pieces_

**Songfic sector end. Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't worry, the smack down will continue later. I need more time to think, is all. By the way, I named Onigami after Street Fighter's own resident demon of the same name. He's within Akuma though, and I thought the name was fitting, since they both are evil powers, and they have white, and yada yada yada. Ciao!**


	6. Episode 6: Memory Ripper vs Ripped Mask

Bleach: Blade Crasher arc

Episode 6: Memory Ripper versus Ripped Mask

**WAZZAAAAAAAP? Well, I know you've all been waiting for this, but I could've had you all throw an idea in. I dunno, maybe a joke or two. But, since you didn't you'll have to deal with this. DISCLAIMEEEER! Random guy on the street!**

**R.G.O.S: What?**

***Kicks guy out* ONWAAAAAAAAARD!**

Introducing… the dialogue box!

Regular- normal speech (derp)

**Bold- Vizard speech**

_Italics- thought_

Underline- zanpakuto to Soul Reaper from their head

_**Bold + Italics- Hollow Rukia (what should we name her?)**_

**Bold + Underline- Onigami (Hollow Ichigo)**

Ichigo slammed his blade into Hollow Rukia's scythe, pushing her backwards as well. Ichigo's eyes were full of hate, "**GROOOOOOOOOAAAAGH! You'll pay!**" He pushed his blade down into the snow, as well as slicing Hollow Rukia's scythe in half. He looked up, aimed Tensa Zangetsu, and lunged towards Hollow Rukia (Alright, that's getting annoying. What do any of you suppose I name her?). She dodged, and hit Ichigo in the back of the head with the blunt end of her scythe.

Tensa Zangetsu had his own problems at the moment. He was busy trying to get Rukia's zanpakuto, Sode no Shirayuki, down from her own containment field. Each time he approached it, he would get electrified. He didn't dare try slicing it, for fear of what would happen to the sole inhabitant. He really was out of options. He sat down, sighed, and pulled his hood over his head, watching as his master/father/host/son/bro/everything fought the Hollow creature. He dully glanced as Rukia began to regain consciousness. He looked back, "Oh, you're awake. I was starting to get worried." Rukia looked up, "What's going on here? Who're you, what's Ichigo doing here, and what's wrong with Sode no Shirayuki?" Tensa Zangetsu merely tightened his hood, "To answer your questions in order; Ichigo is fighting your Hollow spirit in order to get you back in control of your body; I'm Tensa Zangetsu; I have Muramasa's powers, so I can enter other Soul Reaper's inner worlds, and I dragged Ichigo along, and Sode no Shirayuki is being held back by your Vizard Spirit's energy. You were too, until Ichigo tore you out." Rukia tried to stand up, but Zangetsu merely pushed her down, "Recover first. You're in no condition to fight now." He turned, raised his sword form, and dashed away with the following sentence, "If only you'd woken up earlier."

Ichigo keeps on dodging the multitude of strikes from Hollow Rukia (That's getting annoying). He leapt back, charging a Getsuga Tensho. Ichigo raised the attack over his head, as if he were to launch it, and swung. He didn't actually release it, though. The action was enough to psyche out Hollow Rukia, and make her leap to the side. Ichigo used the opportunity to try and lunge at her. Hollow Rukia didn't like the idea, and jumped back to avoid the Getsuga-powered blade. Ichigo grasped the crossguard, "**Getsuga Tensho!**" The blast wasn't like a traditional Getsuga, and instead was more of a 'bullet' Getsuga: thin, sharp, and quick. Hollow Rukia flew back, straight into the path of Tensa Zangetsu. Tensa raised his blade, and swung. Hollow Rukia was sent into the snow, and hard. She picked herself up, growling. Ichigo walked over, standing over the Vizard spirit, like an executioner, axe in hand. He raised his sword, ready to bring it down on Hollow Rukia, "ICHIGO!" Ichigo turned his head, and his (now) golden eyes met Rukia's violet.

'_Why is it I love her?_'

He stared, unable to move.

'_She's a lot like all of the other women I've known in my life._'

She screamed, yet he couldn't hear her.

'_I've always protected others who were weaker than me._'

*Flashback*

Ichigo, with shorter hair, and in regular 'human' clothes, is standing in front of a Hollow. Rukia, with a notably different hairstyle, takes a blow for him.

'_Yet, on that day we met, she protected me, because I was weaker._'

*Still flashback*

Rukia, bleeding, and against a wall, aims her sword at Ichigo, "You must… become a Soul Reaper!"

'_Is it because of that? Or maybe…_'

*Not flashback*

Ichigo, still staring, didn't notice Hollow Rukia getting up, or that she was readying to strike.

'_Because… she gave up her powers for me?_'

*Flashback… again!*

He clearly remembered her impaling him with the sealed Sode no Shirayuki, and the power he felt from transforming.

'_That connected us, didn't it?_'

*New flashback*

Ichigo remembered when everyone else forgot Rukia, but he didn't. He remembered how he fought against everyone else to make them remember.

'_I remembered her… even after she forgot me._'

He clearly remembered when Rukia spoke his name, and her memories returned.

'_Or maybe… because she gave her life for me?_'

*Other flashback*

Ichigo recalled when Renji and Byakuya came to take Rukia away, to be executed for giving Ichigo his powers.

'_I still do care for her… and that's THAT!_'

*image of flashback goes black and white, then shatters like glass*

Ichigo brought his sword down, impaling Hollow Rukia in her heart. Without seeing if she was finished, he left Tensa Zangetsu in her, and walked towards Rukia. His mask faded, and his Bankai turned off. Tensa Zangetsu grew old again, and he got back his Deus Specs (Team Fortress 2 reference, baby!). Ichigo walked to Rukia, and hugged her closely. Rukia, unaware of the situation, pushed Ichigo away, "What're you doing?" Ichigo only replied by leaning down, and slamming his lips into hers.

If Rukia had ever felt enlightenment, now was the time. Ichigo's spirit pressure wrapped around her like a blanket, bringing her heart warmth in this cold wasteland. Ichigo held his friend tight, trying to insure that she wouldn't leave his grasp. With that, Zangetsu deactivated the link, and they went to the real world.

Alright, alright. Get back to the real world, lovebirds! Ichigo scowled at the sky, "Shut up, HeavenDemon29!" Okay, you guys asked for it.

The two re-enter the real world, still in a tight embrace. Heh, heh. Watch this. The two both realize that their embrace isn't the only 'tight' thing on them. I put them in slim leotards. *Nelson Muntz style* HAH, HAH!

Alright, all jokes aside, they exit to the real world, still hugging. Now, onto everyone else's reactions.

Byakuya stared as the Vizards attacked each other. The two Hollowfied Soul Reapers' powers were far greater than anything he'd ever seen. All of a sudden, the two fly at each other, and a flash of energy appears, along with the sound of cracking. Ichigo's Vizard mask hit the ground, shattering into pieces of clay, or bone, or WHATEVER HOLLOW MASKS ARE MADE OF! Byakuya removes his hand from over his face to see what's behind the light. Lemme tell ya, he ain't gonna like it. Byakuya's jaw actually dropped past normal, and just hung there. He wasn't alone, even Yamamoto was sitting in awe of the spectacle before him. Shinji, along with several other Soul Reapers, notably the Eleventh Division, dropped to the ground laughing like idiots.

What was so shocking/jaw dropping/overly amazing/funny was that Ichigo and Rukia were locked in a powerful kiss that could've been carved into stone. Byakuya, for once, was unable to do anything. He felt as if Bakudo number 61 had been used on him, and he was immobile, and forced to watch the sight before him. Renji dropped Zabimaru's blade form on Snake Zabimaru's tail, yet he didn't flinch, nor did Monkey when he did the same to her foot. Senbonzakura's mask hit the floor, but no one took any action to see what he looked like. Toshiro Hitsugaya (wait for it…) dropped into the fetal position, muttering, "It can't be real… Just a bad dream… I'm gonna wake up soon."

Shinji was laughing so hard, he couldn't even breathe. Speaking of which, Fifth Division Lieutenant Momo Hinamori was mortified. She dropped her zanpakuto, Tobiume, onto her Captain's foot, causing him to stop laughing, mainly because it was the sharp part. Kenpachi and the entire Eleventh Division were laughing just as hard, if not harder, than Shinji. Not at Ichigo, or anything, but instead at everyone else's reactions. Kenpachi couldn't even stand straight, he was laughing so hard. He tripped over his own feet, and hit a piece of rubble. His eyepatch was knocked off, and the spirit pressure was enough to knock everyone else from their trance.

Byakuya cleared his throat, yet still unable to speak. His throat was dryer than Ryujin Jakka's flames. The only thing to break the silence was the sound of Yachiru jumping up, calling to the pair, "Hey, hey! Whatcha doing up there?" That made the two break, and realize the situation they're in. They blush, and slowly descend to the ground. Zangetsu himself appears right next to his master, "I'm going to get something warm to eat. You could freeze the old Captain's zanpakuto in her head." He wandered off, shooting a look behind his glasses saying, "You're on your own now, kid." Ichigo nervously looks around at everyone around him. Most have a 'what the bloody hell just happened' look. Others have the 'this is going down in history' look. And one has the 'Ichigo, I'm gonna skin you alive if it's the last thing I do on this ******* planet' look. Three guesses who that is.

All of Ichigo's willpower is used to simply keep himself standing. Byakuya's glare is enough to make him want to run for the Human World. Ichigo Kurosaki has fought enemies that could annihilate all of human civilization, and not an inch of fear (beyond the normal a person should feel) was present. Yet now, Byakuya quite frankly scared the sh*t out of him. Ichigo really didn't know WHAT to do at this point, and was nervous beyond all imagining.

Yamamoto merely sighed, "We will begin repairs soon. In the meantime, I want all of you to rest as much as possible. We're going to need every able-bodied worker on the job, and NO EXCUSES! Once repairs are done, we will be preparing a full-power counterattack on Hueco Mundo. That Arrancar managed to fool us once, but he won't do it twice. He wanted it to appear as if there was a trap in Hueco Mundo, but the trap was here, and we fell for it. Now, we must prepare. Ichigo Kurosaki, I want you to head to the Human World, and gather every being capable of helping out in out repair efforts you can." Ichigo realized that the old man was giving Ichigo a scapegoat to avoid Byakuya for now. Yamamoto slammed his cane to the ground, "Now GO!" Ichigo had no complaints, and dashed towards the gate to the Human World.

Upon his arrival, he was cut off by Byakuya. The noble did something very… un-noble-like then. He grabbed Ichigo by the collar, and slammed him into the wall, "Listen, boy. I don't know what kind of prank you think you're pulling, but let me tell you this: break her heart, I break you." Ichigo only swallowed, nodded, and Byakuya dropped him. Ichigo walked to the gate, and Zangetsu dropped right next to him. The old-appearing man merely mumbled, "Please take his advice, Ichigo. I would rather stay in a stable mind, rather than a broken one." Ichigo then heard his worst nightmare, "**Hey! Did ya forget about me? Well, we should be so lucky ya didn't eh?**" Ichigo merely grabbed Zangetsu, and walked into the Human World again.

**The Human World- Karakura Town**

Ichigo looked around at the airborne view of his home, and breathed in the fresh air. Zangetsu looked around, "Ichigo, I'll be alerting Uryu and Chad, since they're in the same area. I sense that Orihime Inoue is with Urahara. You should talk to them." Ichigo nodded, and disappeared. Zangetsu did the same, in another direction.

**At the Urahara Shop**

Ichigo shunpo'd in front of the store, looking around. He knocked, and Urahara opened the door immediately, "Ah, Ichigo! I was wondering when you'd get here! Come inside, and tell use what's new in the Seireitei!" Ichigo's business look told Urahara everything he needed to know, "Oh. Well, come on. This way." Ichigo followed, and sat down in front of a small table, still in Soul Reaper form. When Orihime Inoue walked in, she quickly jumped up, "Hey, Ichigo! What happened while you were at Soul Society? Why did you take so long to get back?" Ichigo just said, "Wait for Urahara. I only wanna say this once." The former Twelfth Division Captain quickly responded, "Oh, don't wait on me." Ichigo breathed in, and began to tell the tale…

**Karakura Town park**

Zangetsu descended, noticing that the Quincy, Uryu Ishida, and the Fullbringer, Yasutora Chado, were currently fighting a low-class Hollow. Chad raised his fist, and crunched the creature's head. Uryu turned, and noticed Zangetsu. He aimed his Quincy Cross, "Who're you, and why do you have Ichigo's spirit pressure?" Zangetsu replied, "I have the answer to both of those questions. Sit down, this'll take a while." Zangetsu began to unravel the tale of what happened.

**Cut camera in half**

"WHAT?" "An attack on the Seireitei?" "The Hollow within you got loose again?" "Zanpakuto are running loose?" "There's an Arrancar behind the whole thing?" "Ichigo likes Rukia?"

That's pretty much everything that was asked after that. Not in that order, either.

**Park**

Uryu and Chad were shocked beyond belief. Zangetsu looked at the two, "Now, we need to get to the Soul Society to begin repairs and prepare a counterattack. Let's go, we're wasting time already."

**Shop**

Orihime and Urahara were mortified. Ichigo, with a foreign look of wrath stuck in his eyes, "Well? Are you two going to help them repair, or not?"

**Both**

The four sit in silence, when finally Chad/Orihime responds, "If Ichigo /you need my help, you've got it." Urahara/Uryu follow, "Don't think that I'm afraid to return to the Soul Society. I'm with ya alright." The Soul Reaper/zanpakuto's eyes narrow, "Then let's get moving."

**Several minutes later…**

All five are present, and Urahara looks at Tessai, his faithful assistant, "You know where to find us, alright?" Tessai 'hmph's' in response. Urahara opens his fan, batting it as Tessai opens the gate to the Soul Society. The five walk in, and disappear into the portal. Tessai walks away, whistling calmly.

**In the Soul Society… Alright, how many scene changes am I going to have to do?**

Shut up already. The five arrive, shocked upon getting a full view of what the fight between Ichigo and Yamamoto caused. Some flames still flickered, and the Fourth Division was hard at work. Orihime instantly joined them, with her fate-altering powers activating instantly.

Ichigo, Chad, and Uryu went towards the First Division to begin planning the counterattack. Urahara, meanwhile, flapped his fan while wandering in the Twelfth's direction, "I wonder how Mayuri's been doing."

Ichigo and Uryu arrive, seeing most of the Captains waiting for them. Ichigo asks aloud, "Hey, where are the other Captains?" Yamamoto's eyes open, "Kenpachi Zaraki and the Eleventh Division are currently moving away debris. We all know where the Fourth is, and the Twelfth Division is performing autopsies of the numerous altered Hollow that were killed off." Ichigo nods, and looks to Chad, "Hey, Chad. Go help the Eleventh Division out." Chad nods and jumps away. Ichigo and Uryu begin overlooking the battle plans, when Uryu notices B.C sitting beside Shinji. He aims his bow, and Ichigo pushes him. Uryu glares, "Whatcha do that for, Ichigo?" Ichigo points to the frail Hollow, "That's B.C, and he's friendly." Uryu stares at the deformed Hollow, with B.C running behind Ichigo, "Pl-pl-please don't shoot me!" Ichigo just pats B.C on the head, "It's alright. Hey, gramps, what's he doing here?" Yamamoto stares, "Blade Crasher is the only one that's still alive who knows of the interior of the enemy's base. He has been explaining to us what he knows of it." Ichigo and Uryu nod, "That makes sense." B.C merely 'smiles,' his cheek muscles curling up. Uryu shivers at the sight, and begins analyzing the plans.

Kenpachi was doing heavy lifting, when someone lands right next to him. The guy doesn't 'smell' like a Soul Reaper, or Hollow. He 'smelled' like that old guy Kenpachi fought about a month ago. Kenny recognized the guy as Ichigo's silent friend. Kenny pointed, "I thought I heard voices under that pile of rubble. Go check it out." Chad grunts walking towards the pile of rocks. He raises his fist, and punches the ground. The blast sends stones into the air, revealing a tiny, frail Soul Reaper with a short haircut. Chad lifted the unconscious boy up, and handed him to a nearby Fourth Division member. The Soul Reaper replied, "Oh, my. It's Hanataro." He ran off towards a tent to give the boy medical treatment.

Orihime was healing a Soul Reaper whose arm was crushed. The man looked at the once-useless limb, flexed it, and walked out, sending a "Thanks a lot." Orihime smiled, and a Fourth Division member dropped a boy on the table. The… wait, what IS she? She isn't a Soul Reaper, and certainly ain't Hollow, Fullbringer maybe? Anyways, she powered up, and began to heal the poor boy. He gasped, meaning he was awake, and was carried off so the more injured could be treated.

Urahara calmly walked through the Twelfth Division as if he was still Captain. He approached the Captain's room, and gently opened the door. The moment he did, Mayuri turned, "What is it, I'm- oh. It's you. Well, what do you want? I'm busy here!" Mayuri's predecessor grins, "What, is it wrong to visit my former third seat AND former vice-president of the Research and Development labs that I created?" Mayuri growled, "Yes, when HE'S the new Captain of the Division, AND he's doing VERY IMPORTANT research!" Urahara laughs, "I get it, I get it. But would ya mind letting me help out a little? I would like to see how my protégé is getting along." Urahara walks over, examining the multitude of disfigured Hollows. He just mutters, "So, that's what they did. Worse than I thought." Mayuri grinned, "And just check under the hood. THAT'S the gold mine, right there." He shows Urahara various files and documents showing every test and reaction upon the corpses of their enemy's lost ones. Urahara frowned, "Well, ain't this something. But, you're all missing one very important detail." Mayuri becomes VERY upset at the remark.

Mayuri jumps over Urahara's shoulder, "What's THAT supposed to mean? We've been getting every available detail!" Kisuke walks over to one of the bodies, "Watch and learn." He takes a small machine from his pocket, and it draws some blood from the KIA enemy. Mayuri stares, puzzled at Kisuke Urahara's actions. Kisuke presses a button, and the vial holding the blood opens at the top. He presses another and the entire glass container shatters, and the device explodes. Mayuri recoiled at the action, "What just happened?" Kisuke frowns, "Get the bodies out of here. Their blood is lined with explosives." Mayuri looks around; blood has splattered on all of the tools, on the floor, and the beds. He feels Ashisogi Jizo pull on his master's leg. He turns, facing his zanpakuto, "What is it?" Ashisogi Jizo glows red, speaking in a very high pitch, "Bankai!" It grows larger, becoming a huge caterpillar. Ashisogi Jizo begins eating the corpses, and then tears down the wall. Mayuri and Urahara are staring, dumbfounded, through the hole in the wall. Kisuke grins, "Well, well. So that's yer Bankai, eh, Mayuri? He's kinda creepy, to be honest." Mayuri nods, "Yes… I know."

Konjinki Ashisogi Jizo is running as fast as his multitude of limbs can take him, towards where nobody's at. He finds a desolate spot, and pukes the bodies up. He turns around, and starts crawling back to his master. However, the Twelfth Division is already on the scene. When that is some others arrive, the Twelfth start setting up clear guidelines as to where to be, and not to be. Yamamoto walks over to Mayuri, "What is the meaning of this, Kurotsuchi?" Mayuri turns, "Head Captain, you can thank Urahara for this. The bodies have explosives lined in their blood." Urahara picks up quickly, "My little analyzer blew up after I tested short-wave radio on one small sample. I think they WANTED us to keep the bodies in the Twelfth Division. You know, set them off, kill pretty much everyone in the Soul Society that knows more math than just two plus two, leave even more rubble, possibly kill a Captain, you get the idea." Yamamoto stares, "I thank you for your observance, Kisuke. Now, we must make sure that all Soul Reapers not involved get back to work RIGHT NOW!" Mayuri looks at his zanpakuto, now in Shikai/base form again. He merely frowns, with Ashisogi Jizo recoiling. Then, Mayuri does something very un-Mayuri like. He pets the little insect on the head, "Nice thinking." Then, he smacked it, "Next time, try and give us a little more warning! You could've crushed me! AND you ruined a whole wall!" Yeah, good old Mayuri.

Ichigo got away from the possible bomb site as quick as possible. Before he could get to the First Division barracks to help with the planning, he was pulled into an alleyway. The first thing he felt was a pair of lips crashing against his. After he was released, he felt a strong blow against his skull. While on the ground, rubbing the wound, he snapped at Rukia, "WHAT THE HELL'D YA GO AND DO THAT FOR!?" Rukia snapped back, "That was for taking me by surprise like that, idiot!" Ichigo frowned, got up, and kissed her again. Rukia stepped on his foot. After a brief scuffle, the two finally go their separate ways.

Uryu shot a momentary glance at Ichigo as he shunpo'd in to the remnants of the First Division Captain's Quarters, which he broke. Ichigo looked around, scratching the back of his head, "Sorry, I tripped on my way here." Uryu heard the Second Division Captain mutter, "Tripped over the Kuchiki girl." The last Quincy's mind began to race, '_I already know that the Second Division Captain has eyes everywhere. What I DO want to know is this: Ichigo and Rukia? Or is this all one big prank? If so, I have a feeling that Ichigo had absolutely no say in it._' Shinji stared at the Quincy, "Hey, Uryu? Are you still here?" Uryu shook his head, "Yes. I'm… just a little shocked over everything that's happened so far." Yamamoto stares, and proceeds with the planning,

**PHEW! This took me a while, I know. Don't criticize me; this is a work in progress. Well, if you all thought anything was wrong; don't be afraid to point it out! Ciao!**


	7. Episode 7: Lanigan's Ball

Bleach: Blade Crasher arc

Episode Seven- Lanigan's Ball

**WAZZAAAAAAAAP? Well, in case you didn't notice, I'm not dead! I needed a LOT of thought for this one, and decided to pick a lighter pace for now. This oughta hold you off until I can think of the next part. DISCLAIMEEER! Kenpachi!**

**Kenpachi- Uhm... what? 'Own me?' I THINK NOT, PAL!**

**ONWAAAAAAAAAAARD!**

Dialogue Box

Regular- yo momma

_Italics- MIND READING POWERS_

Underline- zanpakuto

_Italic + Underline- song lyrics_

**Bold- Soul Reaper w/ mask on**

_**Bold + Italic- Onigami**_

**Bold + Underline- Hollow Rukia(I mean it. You people give me a name here!)**

Ichigo was currently helping the Sixth, which was currently making sure that the other Divisions were properly armed and prepared for battle. He was heaving a large case of armor around, when a Hell Butterfly swooped right past him. The Twitter rip-off left the message: ALL SOUL REAPERS ARE TO CEASE WORKING AND ARRIVE AT THE FIRST DIVISION COURTYARD. He slowly set down the case, and used shunpo, arriving fairly quickly at the area. There, a large crowd was gathered, curious as to the point of this meeting. On a small stand, Yamamoto stood. He raised his head, "You all have been working hard for the past four weeks, with the repairs being complete faster than initial expectations. I, along with some other Captains, feel that a reward is in order. This event has been coordinated by the 3rd Seat of the Second Division. Please welcome, Jeremy Lanigan!" He stepped back, revealing two tall men. Ichigo could only stare, and Onigami perked up, "_**This is gonna be good.**_" Ichigo silently nodded, swallowing deeply.

Lanigan stepped forward, a man approximately five foot nine, with sleek, red hair. He had a sharp look in his eyes, and a simple smile on his mouth. He merely breathed in, "Thank you, Head Captain. It's come to my attention that you lit'le feckers have been doing too much work lately. So, I decided to-" Holmes sharply elbowed him, coughing, "Ahem." Lanigan rolled his eyes, "Alright, Holmes and I decided to set this up fer ya. We hold this not to just let you relax, but to show that we can WIN this war. If the Soul Society survived Arrancar, Bounts, zanpakuto rebelling, and Aizen, then by God (Soul King, really) we can SURVIVE THIS NO-GOOD MOTHER-FECKER!" The crowd cheered, the roars showing their strength as a whole. At that moment, they weren't just a big old (key word being old) army. They were a family. Alright, a very disconnected family, but still a family. Lanigan grinned, and proclaimed, "In that case, let's all get on with the festivities."

**The sheer amount of idiocy to follow will forever be remembered by the Soul Society as 'Lanigan's Ball.' Also, the song by the Fiddler's Green by the same name will play along with it. DUH!**

_In the town of Athy one Jeremy Lanigan  
Battered away till he hadn't a pound  
And his father he died and made him a man again,  
Left him a farm and ten acres of ground  
He gave a grand party to friends and relations  
Who did not forget him when come to the wall  
If you'd only listen, I'll make your eyes glisten  
At the rows and ructions of Lanigan's ball  
_

Ichigo only stared as the party kicked up all around him. Somehow, he just couldn't move a single muscle. He felt a single tap on his shoulder. He turned, seeing nobody, and then looked down. The moment he did, he saw two pure pools of violet. He felt a hand grab his wrist, along with the two words he was hoping not to hear, "Come on!" He had no choice but to follow, remembering Byakuya's threat. They wound up in a sad, typical scenario: tall white guy doesn't know how to dance, and just moves around like an idiot, with girl to busy having fun to even notice.

_Myself to be sure got free invitations  
For all the nice girls and boys I might ask  
In less than a minute both friends and relations  
Were dancing as merry as bees round a cask  
Lashing of punch and wine for the ladies  
Potatoes, cakes, there was bacon and tea  
There were the Nolans, Dolans, O´Grady´s  
Courting the girls and dancing away  
_

The two danced, and 'danced' for about five minutes, unaware of why you shouldn't let Kenpachi be given a jug of whiskey.

_Six long months I spent in Dublin  
Six long months doing nothing at all  
Six long months I spent in Dublin  
Learning to dance for Lanigan´s ball  
_

They heard a large ruckus, with the music suddenly increasing in beat, and a certain behemoth Captain was currently doing a forbidden form of combat- the jig.

_They were doing all kinds of nonsensical polkas  
Round the room in a whirly gig  
But Julia and I soon banished their nonsense  
And tipped them a twist of a real Irish jig  
Oh how the girl she really got mad and me  
Danced that you´d think that the ceiling would fall  
For I spent three weeks at Brooks Academy  
Learning to dance for Lanigan´s ball  
_

Kenpachi was currently dancing like an Irishman, considering that the Eleventh Division normally was at the pubs more than the others, they had learned a thing or two from the dead Irish who stayed there, memorizing dance styles and how to fight proper even if you're drunk. That's happened more than once, let me tell you that.

_Six long months I spent in Dublin  
Six long months doing nothing at all  
Six long months I spent in Dublin  
Learning to dance for Lanigan´s ball  
_

The two only stared as the Eleventh Division Captain danced around like a madman. Rukia and Ichigo stared at each other, and they both pointed at the anomaly, eyes the size of an iPhone.

_And I stepped out - and I stepped in again {x3}  
Learning to dance for Lanigan´s ball  
_

At that moment, Ichigo felt a surge of energy behind him, and saw Zangetsu JOINING IN with Kenpachi's dance. Ichigo smacked himself in the face, "But I don't even KNOW how to dance like that in the first place. Where'd he learn it?" Zangetsu stopped stared, and responded, "Ichigo, when your voice (and balls) drop, and you grow a mustache, all will become clear." He quickly rejoined the bloodthirsty Captain in the dance. Ichigo couldn't seem to understand the reasoning behind that logic, until the Lieutenant of the Thirteenth grabbed him by the collar and left a decent imprint on his cheek with her lips.

_And I stepped out - and I stepped in again {x3}_

_Learning to dance for Lanigan's ball_

Ichigo sat there, and Mayuri tripped in the large crowd, a hair growth tonic flying from his grasp. It hit the ground, opening, and of course, hit Ichigo in the face. A mustache grew on his face perfectly, and only five words escaped his head, "Everything's so clear now."

_The boys were as merry, the girls all hearty  
Dancing around in couples and groups  
Till an accident happened, young Terence McCarthy  
He put his right leg through Miss Finerty´s hoops  
The creature she fainted and cried "Meelia Murther"  
And called for her brothers and gathered them all  
Carmody swore that he´d go no further,  
Till he had satisfaction at Lanigan´s ball  
_

They danced for a while, until Snake Zabimaru screwed up in his dance, kicking Unohona in her thigh. She collapsed, and the Fourth tried to help her up, with a few refusing to help until they'd had their share of fun.

_Six long months I spent in Dublin  
Six long months doing nothing at all  
Six long months I spent in Dublin  
Learning to dance for Lanigan´s ball {x2}  
_

Meanwhile, King was sitting on his throne, rubbing his temples. He looked to Syazel, bearing the question, "These are the idiots we're fighting- what the hell?" Syazel was joining in, but upon noticing his master's disapproval, he stopped, face red from embarrassment.

_Boys, oh boys, ´tis there was ructions  
Myself got a kick from big Phelim McHugh  
And I soon replied to his kind introduction  
And kicked him a terrible hullabaloo  
Casey the piper was nearly being strangled  
They squeezed up his pipes, bellows, chanters and all  
And the girls in their ribbons they all got entangled  
And that put an end to Lanigan's ball  
_

Then, everything broke loose. The whole thing became one big brawl. Ichigo got kicked by Kenpachi immediately when the chaos started, and kicked the Eleventh Captain in his 'pot o' gold.' Yamamoto was trying to pry his beard from a pencil sharpener (when did that get there?), and Ikkaku was trying to strangle Omaeda with Gegetsuburi's chain. Pretty much, it's like St. Patrick's day at the pub down the corner.

_Six long months I spent in Dublin  
Six long months doing nothing at all  
Six long months I spent in Dublin  
Learning to dance for Lanigan's ball {x2}  
_

Rukia sighed, "Oh, boy." She walked into the crowd, and came out, dragging Ichigo away. When she did, his mustache suddenly disintegrated. Mayuri merely wrote on a notepad, "Hair... growth... only... lasts... two... minutes..."

_And I stepped out - and I stepped in again {x3}  
Learning to dance for Lanigan´s ball_

Jeremy Lanigan, however, was currently hiding. He was sure that no-one had found him, and turned around to head to the Second Division barracks, when he went face-to-face with his Captain. He swallowed, "Oh, boy." Soi Fong stared, frowned, then glared.

_And I stepped out - and I stepped in again {x3}_

_Learning to dance for Lanigan's ball_

Everyone momentarily turned, hearing the sounds of pain and agony within a nearby tree. They looked back, shrugged, and continued to fix the mess they'd made. Zangetsu followed Rukia as she dragged Ichigo through the streets of Rukongai, right to the Kuchiki mansion. She moved him up to her room, and left him on her bed. She plopped herself on the bed, and passed out within moments. Byakuya stared from the door. He turned, "Rukia... I don't know what it is you see in him... But he's a dangerous threat. If he is to lose control of that... thing again... I won't hesitate to play the executioner. He turns, and walks back to hi own room.

King watches the wreckage of the party with a dull look on his face. Well, what you can see of it, anyways. He merely looks at Syazel, "What's the progress on a lengthened serum?" Syazel jumps at the sound of his master's voice, "Ah, I'm glad you asked! I think I've got it just right. The old sample lasted for about three hours on the regular Hollows, and you said it only lasted roughly seven minutes. That must mean an Arrancar's metabolism filters foreign entities quicker. So, the serum I made lasted at least eight hours on average. So... that means that... this serum lasts you at least half an hour." As they talked, they walked down a long hallway into the laboratory. In there, King held up a golden vial. His cheek muscles showed signs of a grin, "Excellent." Syazel scratches the back of his head, "Sir, that's not it. That chemical makes your stomach digest itself." King instantly sets it down, and coughs, "Well, where is it?" Syazel points to a small vial with a green chemical bubbling actively within it. King takes the chemical, examines it, and sets it down. He walks out, calling over his shoulder, "Good work, Syazel. I want at least thirteen pints of it ready within three hours." Syazel freaks, "Master King! That's such a small timeframe!" King glares, "And you're unable to work within that time... why?" Syazel begins to stutter, "Ah, uhm... oh, agh!" King suddenly held Syazel by the throat, "Well, if you can't use that timeframe, then you're useless to me. I suppose I'll have to find someone more _**capable**_ than you." His spirit pressure began to choke Syazel, and he coughed, "Alright, alright! I'll get right on it, master!" King dropped his researcher, "Good. The clock starts... now." Syazel glared past his pink hair, and quickly stood up. he looked at the Hollows smart enough not to be (continuous) test subjects, "Well? You heard him! Start making more of the power serum! Get moving!" They scatter, working as hard as they can.

About an hour later, Yamamoto was before a large curtained... thing in the Twelfth Division. He looked to Kurotsuchi, "Captain Kurotsuchi, I'm not in the mood for anything that doesn't help with the current situation. In one night, we had several capable soldiers incapacitated. This had better be important." Mayuri brought up his (mentally scarring) troll smile. He spoke in his serpentine voice, "Why, yes indeed, Head Captain. This is a weapon that's far more usable than the Kido Cannon. It literally draws on the ample Hollow spirit pressure within Hueco Mundo, and fires a blast that, by my calculations, is able to obliterate something the size of three Sokyoku Hills tall, and fourteen wide." He grabbed the curtain over the large anomaly, and pulled. Underneath was a large tank with one freaking huge cannon. Mayuri stepped back to see the height of his monstrosity, "I call it... the Big Fucking Gun Nine-Thousand!"

All present look up at the words DOOM FOUR* on the ceiling, and when they disappear, they resume their conversation. Yamamoto stares, "Well then, Mayuri. I want it to be ready for deployment within three days." Mayuri jumps, "THREE DAYS/ THIS IS JUST A MODEL! THE REAL THING'S OVER THERE!" His long fingernail points to an incomplete version of the monstrosity before them. Yamamoto sighs, "Oh, dear. Well, I want you to have ALL Twelfth Division personnel working on this project." He turns, and then Mayuri looks at all of his fellow scientists, "Well? What're you waiting for, a bright neon sign? GET WORKING, YOU IMBECILES!" The scientists quickly jumped to working on the project, asking what needed to be done, and what didn't. Mayuri himself looked at the holographic map of the blueprints, "Nemu, I'm going to need coffee," Mayuri's eyes narrow to a blade's point, "A LOT of coffee." Nemu departs, and the Twelfth Division Captain watches as his henchmen and their zanpakuto run around, fixing everything as needed.

Ichigo wakes up, eyes darting around at the neatness of the room. His hand quickly reaches up to his face, and feels no mustache, "Aw, damnit. Wait a minute..." He suddenly notices the fact that a pair of limbs is cuddling him like a teddy bear. "Put the pieces together, Ichigo." Zangetsu calls from the infinite skyscraper field. Kurosaki puts the pieces together, and doesn't like the picture he's seeing. He turns, confirming his suspicions: he's within the bed of Rukia Kuchiki. Now, he reacts like how Ichigo SHOULD react: sheer panic. He runs out, bumping straight into someone else. He rubs his head, "Hey, sorry. I didn't see where I was going- oh, crapbaskets." He's looking at a VERY aggravated Byakuya, with Senbonzakura at his side. Ichigo swallows, releasing a tiny *meep* before trying to depart. Key word here being TRYING. A strong hand grabs the back of his collar, followed by, "Where do you think you're going? You and I are going to have a little talk." Ichigo is walked towards the (very) spacious living room, and sits down on a small cushion. A servant walks in, leaving some tea for the two Soul Reapers. Byakuya gives a wave of his hand, dismissing the butler (Dudley Street Fighter FTW!) at once.

The noble turned to his guest, "I simply want what's best for Rukia, and I don't see that in you." Ichigo's jaw drops open wide enough to be mistaken for a spaceship hangar. He tries to speak calmly, "I get where you're coming from, Byakuya. You and I didn't get off to a good start. I was a rebel; you were a soldier trying to do your duty. And I know I'm still not perfect. I know I do things without thinking, and I'm not the safest person to be around, with that ugly thing inside my brain." "_**I resent that.**_" Ichigo continued, "But I still want her to be happy, just like you. And if being around me makes her happy, then I'll never leave her side." He stands up, and begins to walk out, but Byakuya calls, "Wait." Ichigo turns, and the noble's eyes burn into his own, "You're right. Just... please don't let her get hurt. I promised Hisana I would protect her, and I want you to help me fulfill that promise. Please, don't let her get hurt." Ichigo nods, "Alright then." Before he leaves, "One last thing; please refer to me as Captain Kuchiki." Ichigo grins (here it comes...), "Well, Toshiro asks for that all the time, nobody listens to him!" He disappears, leaving both Senbonzakura and Byakuya unsure of what just happened.

They look at each other, then back to where the Substitute Soul Reaper was. In his place is the butler (Dudley) with two glasses of tea, "You're tea, as ordered sir." He sets it down, and the two slowly drink their tea. Senbonzakura begins to raise his mask, "HEY, BYAKKUN!" Yachiru bursts through the window, with Senbonzakura covering his face again. Byakuya sighs, "Yes, Lieutenant Yachiru?" The pink-haired girl bounces in the air, "Kenny's fighting Strawberry! Come on, it'll be fun!" Byakuya groans out loud (Oh... my... God... Byakuya's showing frustration!), "Five seconds out the door, and he's already in combat." Senbonzakura chuckles, "Well, you can't blame him. This IS Kenpachi Zaraki we're talking about." Byakuya nods, "Can't argue with that logic." His zanpakuto whips his head back, "There is no logic with Kenpachi Zaraki." Byakuya stands up, "Let's make sure there's enough left of the boy for Rukia to hug." Senbonzakura nods, and they both disappear, going after the Eleventh Division Captain and his foe.

**Well, sorry about how long it took! See, I had a SEVERE case of writer's block, and it was from too many ideas! So, I decided to take a break from writing, and BOOM! ADHD kicks in, and I forget about the whole thing. THEN, when I JUST finished the thing, the Internet crashed on me! Stupid AT&T! Well, anyways, that was the chapter. Review, be patient, give cancer donations, and karma will make me work faster for you guys!**

*** I recently read that DOOM 4 will be released soon, presumably in 2013-2014.**

**One final note: I am disappointed in you, reviewers. NONE of you have said ANYTHING on my song choice in Episode... Five, was it? Well, now I don't know whether or not my song chapter choice was good! I would really appreciate a review about that!**

**Ciao!**


	8. Episode 8: Loose Cannon

Bleach: Blade Crasher arc

Episode 8: Loose Cannon

**WAZZAAAAAP? I had a serious case of writer's block, obviously, and that's why I was so distracted for the past few... however long it's been since I last posted an episode of B: BCa. Anyways, DISCLAIMEEEER! Kenny!**

**Kenpachi Zaraki: *sharpens sword* what're you looking at? Does it look like anybody can put ME on a leash and say they own me, like some dog? No offense, Komamura.**

**Komamura: None taken.**

**ONWAAAAAAAARD!**

Ichigo blocked against Kenpachi's blade, and shunpo'd behind the Eleventh Division Captain. He reverse roundhouse kicked to his foe's head, but the large, muscular Captain caught the Substitute Soul Reaper's leg. Ichigo spun in place, twisting his foot in Kenpachi's grasp, and using the motion to build up another kick to Kenpachi's face. He used his foot's placement as a bounce pad, and ascended to the air, and raised Zangetsu, "Getsuga Tensho!" The blue bolt of spirit pressure was instantly dispelled against the Kenpachi's enormous golden spirit pressure, and Kenpachi swung his blade, aiming straight for the strawberry's head.

Just before Ichigo could get free plastic surgery, courtesy of the Captain of the Eleventh Division, Zangetsu got in the way. The hobo zanpakuto (that's his nickname around the Seireitei) held his blade form against Kenpachi's Shizensaigai. He swatted the Captain back, with the real spirit instantly appearing, still a large, shadowy mass of extra manly muscle, with no visible features. Shizensaigai, both blade forms, were currently sharpened, but not quite. Kenpachi and his zanpakuto grinned equally, the calls and cheering from the other Soul Reapers below drove them on. Kenpachi's spirit pressure grew in size, and from within his throat, a mighty roar, intensified by his spirit pressure, began to push at the barrier between the Seireitei and the Rukongai Districts. How in the HELL that thing hasn't shattered yet, considering the enormous spirit pressure of several Captain's Bankai, a few Vizard's masks, one Vizard going Full Hollow, AND the spirit pressure of one overpowered Arrancar were active ALL in the SAME DAMN DAY.

Kenpachi looked at the sky, "Yo! Shut up already, HeavenDemon29! It's bad enough I had to do the disclaimer, but COME ON!" Alright, then, if that's how you want to play it. A green lightning bolt hits Kenpachi, and when the dust (in the air?) clears, he's in a pink, barely fitting tutu. Now, will you continue to disrespect ME, Kenpachi? He looks to the ground, "No, ma'am." GOD, DAMNIT, THAT'S NOT FUNNY! Alright, no tutu.

Kenpachi, now free of tutu AND my wrath (for now... mwahahahaha), opens his jaws, letting his voice (Fus Ro Dah) fly free, "Come on, Ichigo Kurosaki! Show me what yer made of! Don't think that just cuz you've got a girlfriend doesn't mean I'm gonna go easy on ya!" Ichigo grins cockily, "Alright then. Bankai!" The two enormous spirit pressures, even though their sources are several yards from each other, they still press right up to one another. When the two energies fall, their users have changed. Kenpachi's eyepatch is who-knows-where, and Ichigo is in his Bankai outfit. They rush at each other, blades colliding.

At the same time, the two zanpakuto that belong to them are merely watching their masters fight. They stop and make eye contact. Zangetsu attempts to make conversation, "i remember hearing you, when we first met. Your voice, calling out in pain. I wanted to- Oh, DEAR GOD!" Shizensaigai kicked Zangetsu in his 'butcher knife', causing the zanpakuto to fall to his knees, still in the air. He looked up at Shizensaigai, who merely responded, "Let's just fight. Screw the cheap conversations that wind up being turned into memes on 4chan anyways." Zangetsu merely smacked his face in response, stood up, and readied his blade, "Bankai." When the energy faded, two words emerged from his now mustache-less (awww, come on!) lips, "Tensa Zangetsu." Shizensaigai grinned, and the shadowy energy that hid his true features flickered. The two dashed at each other, blades pressing against each other, sparking from steel and spirit pressure. The two leapt back, launching waves of energy against each other. They wasted no time in following up, since Zangetsu launched another right through the smoke, correctly anticipating that Shizensaigai would directly attack. The shadow zanpakuto hit the ground, and Zangetsu launched several extra Getsuga, for good measure. He looked to see how his master was doing, and smacked his face upon seeing what was going on.

Ichigo and Kenpachi were playing poker. And Ichigo was losing, badly. Ichigo just flipped the table, "F*ck this game! And f*ck you, old man!" He immediately attacked, with Kenpachi dashing backwards, knowing that strike could've done permanent damage. He grinned psychotically, "I don't even know how to PLAY poker!' Ichigo grows an angry 'tick' mark on his forehead, "Alright, that's it! It ends here!" He summoned Onigami's mask, and then dashed forwards, with Kenpachi charging in response.

To give you an idea of what happens next, think of it this way: two trains collide. Only, they're both going at the speed of bullets, and are loaded with nuclear weaponry. And, they also have laser beams pressing against each other before impact. That not enough? Think of it this way, WTF Boom is Over 9,000.

The two superpowers pressed against each other past the enormous explosions, and they still roared in each other's faces. Ichigo and Kenpachi leapt back, and began to fly at each other, hitting and retreating, becoming comets of spirit pressure. You couldn't even tell that there were living beings within, if you were deaf, because those bitches were SCREAMING... That's what she said.

The two finally stopped colliding, and stared. Kenpachi shouldered Shizensaigai's blade form, and Ichigo did the same with Tensa Zangetsu. Ichigo panted for a while before speaking, "So, we done for the day?" Kenpachi grinned in return, "I think that's enough. I might get bored later, so watch yer back, cuz I've got a sore throat, and you ain't gonna see it coming." Ichigo grinned, turned back into Shikai/base state, and lowered to the ground. He looked towards Byakuya, who merely deadpanned towards the boy, '_He actually had FUN battling with Captain Zaraki? What is his DEAL?_' Byakuya stared before regaining his composure, "Ichigo, we-uhm, have a war room meeting to attend." Uryu shunpo'd (I know he doesn't really use shunpo, just bare with me here!) in, "You did well, Ichigo. Although, you COULD have aimed for his throat during the third impact." It was Ichigo's turn to deadpan, "How the F*CK did you even SEE what we were DOING up there? I couldn't even see my hand in front of my own f*cking face! I had to GUESS where his blade was aimed!" Uryu cockily smirked, "Then maybe you should wear something that doesn't blend in with your spirit pressure. You'll be able to see what you're doing better." Ichigo glared, "You think I have ANY control over what my Bankai looks like? Tell me, do YOU have any control over what your BOW is shaped like?" Uryu glared back, "Alright, that's taking it too far." Ichigo sharply yelled, "NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!" Byakuya got between the two, "Break it up, ladies. We need to get to the war room, NOW."

The two both stare as Byakuya shunpo's away, then deadpan at each other. Uryu speaks first, "Did Byakuya KUCHIKI just make a direct, and BLUNT INSULT?" Ichigo nods, "Yeah." They stay silent for twelve seconds, "RUN! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!"

Needless to say, Rukia was a little freaked out when she walked out of her brother's mansion, only to be greeted by her boyfriend (feels weird for me to say it) and the Last Quincy (or so you think...) running around like headless chickens, screaming shit about the Apocalypse. She merely sighs, "What am I ever going to do with you?" She grabs Ichigo by the collar, and shunpo's to the First Division HQ. She plops Ichigo down in front of the others, and then disappears, off for a shopping spree, courtesy of Ichigo's wallet, which he left in her room during his exit of her room that morning, with the assistance of her friend and fellow Division officer, Kiyone Kotetsu.

*SpongeBob SquarePants style* Two Hours Later...

Ichigo was currently looking over how all the troops of the Fourth Squad would be distributed around the battlefield for healing, when he heard the two occupants of his mind, "Ichigo. _**Ichigo.**_ Ichigo. _**Ichigo.**_ Ichigo. _**Ichigo.**_ Ichigo. _**Ichigo.**_" He ripped Zangetsu's blade form from his back, and stared at his reflection, and Zangetsu made him hallucinate the image of the two on it, "WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU WANT?" Zangetsu starts up, "You promised me a garden when we first met, and how long ago was that?" Ichigo glared, "I'll do it later, just not now." Zangetsu disappears from the reflection, and into the real world. Ichigo looks to the hallucination of Onigami, "And what do you want?" Onigami had the BEST puppy eyes at that moment, "_**We're out of toilet paper.**_" Ichigo grew a large 'tick' on his head, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? IT'S MY HEAD, FOR GOD'S SAKE! YOU CAN JUST DREAM UP ALL THE GODDAMN TOILET PAPER IN THE WORLD, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" He then threw the sword at a wall, and it was embedded in an old 'Washington for President' poster on the wall. Before you historical Nazis get on my ass, let me finish: This is the land of the dead, and the poster was burned, cuz it's old. Hence, a dead poster, AND since Washington's dead, and probably in the Rukongai somewhere, I found the poster fitting. Ichigo pants angrily before turning around, completely natural, "So, where were we?" The others all slightly scoot to the side, including Unohona aka evil incarnate.

After another twelve minutes, Ichigo heard the sound of music. No, seriously. Someone was watching The Sound of Music. He merely kept it in the back of his mind, until someone yelled, "Hey, turn up the volume! I can't hear a damn thing over all this construction crap!" Apparently, the nimrod who spoke up must've been deaf, or had super hearing, because the only construction near was several halls away, and this is the First Division. Everything's bigger. After they had gotten to the part when the play started, and the great escape, Ichigo had just about lost his mind. Of course, when you have a psychotic being within you that can snatch your very control of your own body from you, and he's an albino clone of you, then in that case you're not really 'all there' in the first place, are you? Ichigo began to rock back and forth, and since Onigami decided to try his hand at singing, it only got worse. Especially since his voice was like a sack of cats thrown onto a bonfire, with several megaphones right next to it, playing loud and clear.

Onigami held a high note for several seconds unnaturally, and Ichigo's left eye became bloodshot. He stood up, walked over to Zangetsu, and drew it from the wall. He walked towards the Captains, who merely dismissed this as him getting ready to sit down again. He got ready to bring down Zangetsu on Shinji's head, when Shinji ripped one. The scent filled Ichigo's nostrils, and Onigami stopped singing, and hid himself AND his horrid singing voice among the many buildings that occupy Ichigo's brain. Ichigo looked around, and put Zangetsu on his back. He sat down, and continued to help plan. Uryu stared at him like a hawk the whole time after he sat down.

Several hours of planning later, and they decided it was time for a lunch break.

Ichigo calmly sat down on a park bench, fed up with his Hollow's behavior. He felt a light nudge on his foot, and looked down. He saw Blade Crasher, who asked, "Can I sit by you?" Ichigo nodded, "Sure. Go right on ahead." B.C jumped up and sat like a dog. They sat in silence for a few minutes, and B.C spoke, "What's it like, to be a Soul Reaper?" Ichigo turned, and simply said, "Well, it's nothing like being a Hollow, that's for sure. We don't hurt, we help. We don't want souls to become… like you. No offense, but it's the truth. We just go out there, and make sure Hollows can't hurt humans. Understand?" B.C nodded, "Yes. But, we Hollows really had no choice in becoming what we are. We simply want to survive, and Soul Reapers are our slaughterers. We start to think that you're the enemy, but when we feast off of the souls of the mortals, then I guess WE'RE the bad guys, huh?" Ichigo looked out to the horizon of buildings, "Yeah." Ichigo got up, and then started to walk away.

Ichigo sat there, in the war room, going over the intense, and oh, so BORING details of the upcoming battle. He and the Captains all felt it. They didn't want to be thinking, they wanted to be doing. They wanted to make sure King didn't have any more time than necessary to build up another attack force. Byakuya was actually visibly anxious. His hand was always near Senbonzakura's handle, never getting further than two square inches away. Soi Fong was muttering Kido incantations, trying to make sure she knew EXACTLY which ones to use later. Unohona repeatedly sent out the nearest sap to go over to the Fourth to check on their medical supplies. Kenpachi, well, being in a war room, going OVER an upcoming battle, and being Kenpachi, wasn't even trying to hide his boredom. He kept on looking at Shizensaigai's sheathe, loathing his newfound zanpakuto's ability to wander on his own, and not keep his master company. Uryu wasn't pushing his glasses up to his forehead, and they actually fell. OH, MY GOSH, I KNOW! He's so nervous, his glasses ACTUALLY FALL. How those f*ckers haven't hit the dirt before is beyond me.

Anyways, Ichigo pushed Onigami's moping to the back of his mind, and continued to work. He looked around, viewing his other comrades' anxiousness. Toshiro stared out of the window until he was called on, and when he knew they were done talking to him, he looked out again. Yamamoto sighed, "I know that this event is rather taxing, and that you all wish to get this on with, and enter the battlefield. But, if we do that, the enemy will be prepared, and we can't risk that." Kenpachi growled, "Come on, Grandpa! If we sit around here any longer, he's gonna hit us first!" Ichigo decided to use an old bit of wisdom his father told him (yes, you read that right), "The best plans are the simplest ones, less ways for them to be ruined." Yamamoto and the rest of the war room stared, with Byakuya breaking the momentary silence, "That… actually makes sense. It really does. If we focus more of our power into a direct offense, then this… King will have no way to react. He'll expect us to be using an organized method of attack, and had it not been for Ichigo, we would've fallen into another of his traps." The rest of the war council looked around at each other, and then they began to move the pieces representing the various Divisions' platoons around to new areas for a simpler way to attack. Ichigo grinned, and Onigami smirked up, "_**Well, hot diggety damn, Ichigo. You're thinking more like me everyday! We might actually start to get along.**_" Ichigo growled back, '_I just did that because this whole thing was getting so boring. I was barely even paying attention to the real strategy itself, and just used that so I'd have less work to do._' Onigami sweated, "_**Uhm… I have no response to the laziness I just heard.**_" It was Ichigo's turn to smirk now. The war room actually got a LOT more fun from then on.

The sun soon began to set in the sky, and the Captains were dismissed to return to their homes to prepare for tomorrow's meeting. Ichigo walked down the long streets of the Seireitei, when Zangetsu shunpo'd beside him, "I heard that we're using a more direct approach now. Did you really get so bored you actually used that stupid piece of advice that Isshin gave you?" A loud, boisterous voice broke the night's silence, "Who says my advice is boring?" All three parts of the Kurosaki boy shivered in fear upon hearing it. Master and zanpakuto looked up, with inner Hollow watching through his eyes, and they all saw… _him_. That's right, Isshin Kurosaki, Captain of the Douchebag Division, stood on the wall above, staring his son down. Ichigo jumped back, "DAD! The hell're you doing here?" Isshin dropped down, with inexplicable sparkles surrounding him (Dan Hibiki/ FullMetal Alchemist Armstrong style) and proclaimed, "If my son chooses to fight in a war, then I shall make sure he succeeds, even if it costs me my life!" Ichigo walked away, "Great, you can be my human shield." Isshin's jaw dropped, "How dare you talk to your father that way! Masaki, look at how rude our son's become!" Via the weird logic that Isshin somehow follows, he managed to set up his memorial poster of Masaki within less than zero-point-five seconds. Ichigo and Zangetsu stared, with Ichigo saying, "Wait, how the hell did you even find out about the whole war thing?" Isshin straightened himself up, and started up, "Well, you see…" Onigami moaned, "_**Aw, crap. Retarded flashback sequence.**_"

*retarded flashback sequence*

Isshin had gone to Urahara's, looking for '(Isshin's) only son', and asked Tessai of his whereabouts. Tessai had told Isshin everything he needed to know, and next thing you know, Isshin was in a portal to the Seireitei, and after onto his son like a bloodhound.

*end flashback sequence*

Isshin scratched his chin, "Speaking of Tessai, I wonder where he is right now…"

*Meanwhile, at 6 Flags…*

"WHOOOOOOOOO! YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! DROP OF DOOOOOM!"

Isshin shuddered for reasons he couldn't understand, and his son began to walk away, "Whatever. Just don't walk into the Twelfth, and you'll be just fine." Isshin tilted his head, "Why's that?" Ichigo turned, "The Captain is a crazy. Motherf*cking. Psychopath who would dissect a kitten during breakfast, and then turn it into a bomb." Isshin's eyes were dinner-plate sized, yet his pupils were as tiny as a flea, "I… understand. Thanks for the advice… I think." Ichigo sighed, and began to walk in the direction of the Kuchiki manor. Isshin asked, "Where are you going?" Ichigo throws over his shoulder, "None of yer beeswax, old man! Now shut up, people are trying to sleep."

Ichigo arrives at the Kuchiki manor and before he can even knock, one of the butlers (Dudley) opened the door and pulled him in, "AGH!" His mouth was quickly covered, and a British (of course) voice angrily whispered, "_Quiet! You don't want your father to know you're here, do you?_" He released Ichigo, and the Substitute Soul Reaper turned, "What?" Dudley slaps his face, "How did you not hear it? He was jumping around, yelling, 'Where are you, Ichigo? Where are you, my son?'. In the Soul King's name, that was UNBEARABLE!" Ichigo's eye twitched, "_**Oh, CRAP! He's onto ya, Ichigo! Ya better know where to hide, cuz I am NOT gonna listen to that guy!**_" Ichigo swallowed, '_Good idea._' He looks to Dudley, "Alright, what kind of closet are you going to stuff me in?" Byakuya walks in, looking out the window to make sure that Isshin isn't looking, "One that nobody can find you in, EVER." Ichigo swallows, "Is that the good kind, or the bad kind?" Byakuya glares, "Both." Ichigo swallows, "_**Out of the frying pan, and into the fire!**_"

*One long attempt to sleep in a stuffed bag among various bags filled with various holiday ornaments in the Kuchiki storage later…*

Ichigo awoke to being dragged somewhere, still as a sack. He looked around, and Dudley opened the sack, revealing breakfast with the Kuchiki family. Ichigo stood up and stretched, but Dudley quickly threw him into a cupboard as Isshin ran by, "WHERE ARE YOU, ICHIGO?" Dudley quickly pulled out the boy and unfolded him. Ichigo sat down, "Thanks, I guess…?" Byakuya and Rukia nod, with Rukia starting, "Ichigo, are you ok after last night?" Ichigo rolled his eyes, and smirked, "Yeah, I just _love_ getting stuffed into a bag by some British guy and thrown into a pile of bags filled with priceless antiques, barely able to move, and trying to fall asleep." Rukia smiled, "Good, because that was my idea." I had to do it, Ichigo. Ichigo points at the sky, "DAMN YOU, HEAVENDEMON29!" Byakuya and Rukia stare, "Who're you talking to?" Ichigo realizes his stupidity and sits down. They eat calmly, and Ichigo asks, "Why couldn't you hide me somewhere INSIDE the mansion?" Byakuya doesn't even toss him a look, "Isshin knows of your… relationship with Rukia, and figured that you'd come here. He was right, but he didn't think that we would hide you like you were a convict, which you are, technically." Ichigo ignored the insult, "So, what's next on the list?" Rukia pulled up a piece of parchment, "Well, we're going to check the Fifth, and make sure that there's enough armor for my Brother's Division-" Ichigo stares, "What?" Rukia looks back, "The Fifth Division has become a forge, day in and day out, they make the best armor and sidearms for us to use." Ichigo nods, "Alright. Next?" Rukia looks to the parchment, "Then, we're checking up on the progress of Captain Kurotsuchi's… Big Fucking Gun 9000. What kind of name is that anyways?" Ichigo stares, "You've never heard of DOOM, have you?" Rukia looks at him, "What?" Ichigo sighs, "Nevermind. Next- OH GOD!" He ducks as Isshin looks in the window, "ICHIGO! WHERE ARE YOU, YOU IDIOT?" Ichigo shivers as Isshin looks around, then back to the Kuchiki's, and says, "Sorry" before disappearing. Ichigo peeks his head up, "This is gonna be a looooooooong day."

After some walking around, they get to the Fifth, where a steady stream of smoke rises up overhead. Ichigo smirks, "Well, you can't tell if there's a fire, now can you?" At that moment, Sode no Shirayuki appears, "No, you cannot, Ichigo Kurosaki. That's why there are fire alarms." Ichigo sighs, "Let's just get this over with." Ichigo holds open the door for the two, and closes it just as Isshin rams into it, "ICHIGO- D'OH!" Ichigo opens the door again, "Who said that? Ah, well." Isshin is flattened behind the doorway.

Ichigo walks through the Fifth for a while, before instinctively ducking as Isshin tries to pull a flying kick, "YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD RUN AWAY, Ichigo- OH MY GOD!" Isshin's foot lands in one of the forges. And by 'forge', I mean the part where there's molten rock to help forge the stuff. Isshin's face boils, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AGH!" Shinji walks in, "You know that guy?" Ichigo looks back, "Never seen him in my life." Shinji stares, "Alright, alright. The armor and sidearms for the Sixth are done. We've got two hundred breastplates, two hundred helmets, two hundred shin guards, two hundred knives, and two hundred partridges in pear trees." Ichigo stares, "It's not even f*cking Christmas, dude." Shinji stares back, "Well excuuuuuse me." Ichigo sighs, "Alright. Now, we're going to the Twelfth, right?" Rukia nods, "Yep." Ichigo sighs, "I hope he does a lobotomy on dad. He could use it."

At the Twelfth, Kurotsuchi and Urahara are overlooking a large hologram depicting the powerful weapon they will use against the Arrancar 'King' and his Hollows. Mayuri was rambling, again, "It's absolutely brilliant! Feeding off of Hollow's spirit pressure to power this weapon means that in Hueco Mundo, the charge time is reduced by nearly 69%!" He noticed Urahara's giggling, "What's so funny? Is it my cloak? Am I wearing it wrong? Oh, by the Soul King! It's my makeup! I forgot to put it on today, didn't I? I shouldn't have run out like that! I was just so-" Urahara fell down, now unable to control himself at his former Vice President's (Yes, Mayuri was former Vice President of the Twelfth, if you didn't read Episode 7, or didn't pay attention to the show) idiocy. Mayuri's forehead grew a new vein, "WHAT IS SO F*CKING FUNNY?" Urahara pointed, "You said *hahaha* 69! Hee-hee! OHOHOHOHO!" Mayuri's eye twitched, "Nemu, would you mind telling me what the f*ck is going on?" Nemu softly began, "Sir, uhm…" She leaned into her master's ear, whispering low enough for him and only him to hear. Mayuri nodded, and then his eyes slowly widened to the size of dinner plates. His cheeks turned green, and he ran into the bathroom. Nemu sat quietly until her Captain's re-arrival.

Before he could come back, Rukia slowly checked off that the weapon was being prepared. She and Ichigo exchanged glances before they shunpo'd away. Isshin then tried to tackle his son, "ICHIGO, NO ESCAPE THIS TIME- OH NO!" Isshin landed between two Tesla coils which were being used in the name of drunk science.

Ichigo and Rukia slowly walked away, with Ichigo ducking just as Isshin tried a third time at attacking his son. Ichigo grew a vein on his forehead, "QUIT FOLLOWING ME AROUND, YA STUPID OLD MAN! MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL AND SPAR WITH KENPACHI OR SOMETHING!" Isshin turned, only to see a size 12 and a half sandal hit his face, then all he saw was the sky. Ichigo glared, making sure that Isshin didn't try to make a comeback, "_**And it's a home run.**_" Ichigo sent the mental image of himself glaring towards Onigami, who shut up immediately. Ichigo sighed, "Let's just go already. I'm starving." He and Rukia walked, hand in hand (Ichigo had to crouch down) to the nearest place to get some good lunch. Nah, I'm just kidding. They ran for it.

Upon finding a ramen place (completely unneeded Naruto reference, anyone?), the two sat down, "SIR! Two bowls of ramen, please. We're in a hurry." The man, who was smiling, replied, "Coming right up!" The two waited for a few moments, and the server walked to the counter, leaving two bowls of ramen. The couple greedily sucked down the delicious food, and slammed their bowls to the counter, "Check please!" The server handed them the check, and both glanced at each other, speaking in unison, "You got about 2,300 yen? WHAT, YOU'RE BROKE?" Rukia pointed to Ichigo, "You're the guy in this! YOU'RE SUPPOSED to pay!" Ichigo pointed back, "AND YOU'RE the rich girl! You should be able to pay 20 lunches just like this!" The two growled, and the server got between them, "Hey, I don't think a brawl's good for business. Tell you what, I'll let you two off for today. Just, please remember to bring your wallets next time, okay?" The two nod, "Thank you!"

They walked on, and the veins on Ichigo's forehead began to increase in number, "_**Ichigo. Ichigo. Ichigo. Ichigo. Ichigo. Ichigo. Ichigo. Ichigo.**_" Ichigo jumped into his mind and successfully struck his inner Hollow down, "Shoryuken!"

**Meanwhile, in Super Street Fighter IV, Arcade Edition…**

Ryu, the Eternal Challenger, prepared to fight El Fuerte, Mexican wrestler and (poor) cook. He stood, "The answer lies… in the heart of- ACHOO!"

**Back to the adventure…**

Ichigo exited his inner world and continued his walk with Rukia. When they arrived at her place, they walked in, and Zangetsu sat with Senbonzakura in the Kuchiki garden. When the two walked out, the zanpakutos stared at the Soul Reaper couple. Ichigo wondered aloud, "What's up, Zangetsu?" From the shadows, Byakuya stepped out, "Ichigo. I cannot allow you to go on like this." Ichigo turned, "What's that mean, Byakuya?" The Kuchiki glared, "Our blades must cross. I cannot allow you to go around with my sister if your connection isn't that strong. If you're willing to do battle," Byakuya raised his blade, "then you can continue in your relationship. Until then…" He lunged, Senbonzakura's Shikai petals flowing around him, "Scatter, Senbonzakura." Ichigo saw Zangetsu leap towards him, becoming the Shikai blade Ichigo knew and wielded so graciously. He leapt at Byakuya, ready to fight, but he still thought it unnecessary.

**OMG! I didn't even see that coming, and I'm the author! I just came up with it after some Starbucks and a blueberry muffin. Well, until next time, this is HeavenDemon, signing off, for now. Ciao!**


End file.
